The Cap'n is in

Good news. If this ship sinks, we all get lifeboats and flotation devices. It's true. The women and children are now officially taken care of. Who will go down with the boat? The Cap'n. So let's light the tiki torches, not worry about spillage and party carelessly as only the blasphemous can. Let the Cap'n take the heat when the coast guard claims our smokes smell "funny."

So let the hazing begin and let's please welcome our newest neophyte, the Cap'n.