Jun 22, 2006

You're killing me

Jerome Irving Rodale was best known at one time for championing the cause of organic food. He was a strong advocate of an active and healthy lifestyle. He went on the Dick Cavett show to promote one of his books. At one point in the interview he claimed that he would live to 100 unless a "sugar-crazed taxi driver" ran him over. During the interview he appeared to fall asleep. Dick asked him, "Are we boring you?" He had died of a heart attack. The show never aired. Of course not, it would have been funny.

Jim Fixx was a famous runner. Really. He wrote The Complete Book of Running and because he is a liar he also wrote Jim Fixx's Second Book of Running. Apparently, the first book forgot to tell you what kind of cool, red, too tight, short shorts to wear. He used to point out how unhealthy Yul Brynner was. Yul died at 70 years of age. Jim Fixx died at 52 just after his morning jog.

It would take 2.5 minutes to fall from the top of Mount Everest. That is a long time to think about why you should have tied your shoe laces.

Utah and Ohio are the two remaining states that allow execution by firing squad. See, there is "so much to discover."

Steve Goodman was from Chicago and a Cubs fan. He wrote two songs about the team. The Go, Cubs, Go song is endured by masochists around the country listening to Pat and Ron run out of things to say year after painful year. I don't think the "on radio 7-2-0" was in the original but I could be wrong. Anyway, Steve died of leukemia (he called himself "Cool Hand Leuk") 11 days before the Cubs were to play in their first playoff game since 1945. (As an aside, they were up 2-0 in a best of five series to the Padres and lost). His ashes are located under home plate at Wrigley and yet no one discusses the Goodman Curse. Next time they parade the goddamned goat around the park they should have Bartman dig up Goodman's ashes and take the whole lot of them to Ohio.

Finally, Thomas Grasso was sentenced to death for murder. For his last meal he ordered Spaghetti-O's. Instead, he received spaghetti to go. His final words were "Please tell the media, I did not get my Spaghetti-O's." That week Newsweek and People mostly ignored his death and focused on the tasty child's meal. Uh, oh, no SpaghettiO's.

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