Changes to the Constitution
Bill of More 'Merican Rights! by Cap'n
1) You have the right to your opinion, no matter how stupid it is! Especially when talkin' 'bout your goofy ufo religion! Ye-haw.
2) Everyone has to have a gun. No exception, including babies. You're born - here's your gun and holster. We'll set up mandatory shoot'n ranges at the State level - most likely at your DMV.
3) You have to have a Ford F10 or Chevy Pickup. No more Honda's or Toyota's on God's Chosen Country! Oh, and you don't have to let troops bunk in your apartment. That'll be Halliburton's job.
4) Privacy, man! I'm in here! The government can't search for your stash without gettin' a piece of paper - or if you want to fly the friendly skies.
5) When you get busted, they can't nab you twice for the same thing.
6) When you do get busted, you can have a lawyer. Don't expect Matlock, but you'll get one. And they can't let you rot in jail, neither. They gotta' see your case before football season starts or ends, depending on when you get nabbed.
7) A jury of 12 other folks, who don't know how to get out of jury duty, will have to sit there and listen to why you got nabbed in the first place, and see if you're guilty or not.
8) They can't beat you up or make your bail to be a billion trillion dollars. Unless you're Donald Trump.
9) You can bitch and moan all you want. And if it's a legit bitch, you get to sue the government.
10) If you live in a state that doesn't like it? They can give the finger to the government, dude. F-that health care sh!t!
You don't like it? Leave it!