Sep 18, 2011

Week In Review

Let's get this out of the way right now: Here's a deleted scene of Luke and Leia about to do a little more than kiss?

And a whole pile of Star Wars cuts: Here on i09. I guess that's in honor of finding Tatooine in our own galaxy? I guess Hoth is Europa?

 Okay, time for the week in review.

 9/11 coverage. Bill Clinton delivered a speech, Paul Simon performed "The Sound of Silence," and a new memorial at Ground Zero opened to the public. Is the legacy of 9/11 going to be used for conservative exploitation, foreign policy, a simple explanation why the 4th Amendment is no longer in the
Constitution? Or is it simply the holiday after Labor Day that marks the beginning of the HalloweenThanksMas season?

 Republicans Rip Rick Perry. Ah, poor Rick. It's hard being the frontrunner, isn't it? Texas Gov. Rick Perry, best friend of Jesus and anyone with an open checkbook is in the lead. This week he got slammed over Social Security, immigration,foreign policy, and his record of (briefly) requiring young Texas girls to receive an STD vaccination. Rick is still king of the muck mountain, but Mitt Romney is grabbing for his cowboy boots. Will Rick stay on top by focusing on Obama - or is he just one open mic away from being the next Howard Dean? The media wants to know.

 Obama is out stumping for jobs -- mostly his. The economy is still in shambles and the nation's poverty rate at its highest point in nearly 20 years, Mr. Obama has been out stumping for his new slush fund - $447 billion jobs plan that would cut taxes, extend unemployment benefits, boost state aid, and fund infrastructure projects. Wait, wasn't that what the first stimulus was supposed to do? Well, guess what, this time he doesn't have Harry and Nancy ready to rubber stamp that sucker. More slush in this environment is only impressing Krugman, and he doesn't think it's enough.

Greece is about to default, but the Eurozone is pretending that their drunk uncle didn't steal their ATM card and crashed the car into a school bus of nuns. That's going to spread like crabs in a frat house.

USA SAT scores are down, which means Johnny America can't read, again. But can he text? Can he beat Gears of War 3 faster than his Korean counterpart? Do reading scores matter? Let me know -- because obviously you aren't reading this anyway.

Scandal and two special elections should make Obama and the Democrats Panic - Haven't you heard? There's an actual scandal that the media is paying some attention to! No, not Fast and Furious -- don't be silly. No, this one is the "allegedly" sketchy fast-tracking of a $535 million loan guarantee for green-tech firm Solyndra, which is now bankrupt and the target of an FBI raid. Oh, that can't be good. And the CEO went to the White House about 4 times to make sure the deal went through? How Chicago. And to add to the President's problems, they're blaming him for the 9th District's (Mr. Photogenic Weiner's, but if you read my post on the issue, it isn't *his*) vacant chair loss to a Republican. "Panic", says James Carville. Also, "fire a lot of people." Looks like there's a lot of Democrat high-ups who are wishing the Hillary would come back?

 Hopes for Mideast peace about as realistic as the Cubs winning the Series anytime soon. Egyptian protesters stormed Israel's embassy in Cairo, Israel pulled its entire diplomatic staff out. Real friendlylike. Anti-Israel anger is building like puss in a teenager's zit — and a looming U.N. vote next week on Palestinian statehood promises to further inflame the conflict. Why? Why Not! Expect US to veto -- which will piss people off, even though it's already a foregone conclusion. I wonder what an abstention would do. Would people stand around confused?

Facebook is taking on Twitter. No sooner did Twitter pass the 100-million-user milestone than Facebook counterattacked with a Twitter a "tedious" subscribe feature. Facebook is also reportedly delaying an eagerly anticipated IPO until late 2012 — perhaps until the flagging stock market regains its momentum. Meanwhile, supposed Facebook-killer Google+ has seen its numbers plummet just three months after its buzzy launch.

America eagerly anticipates the fall TV season With summer's re-run hell finally coming to an end, September promises to usher in a host of new TV offerings. Will Sarah Michelle Gellar's return to TV be as great as Buffy? No.

Could Christina Applegate's and Job's Up All Night become one of TV's "funniest family sitcoms"? Sure, let's put it up there with Cheers and All in the Family before I've seen it. And they're going to hand out Emmy's to congratulate each other, for something? Ah hell, I just am waiting for Fringe and Breaking Bad on DVD. I can wait.

See you here next week, gang.

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