Some TV...

In politics, Bill Clinton throws the smackdown on 9/11 Truther. Go Bill!

Did Cap'n just say "Go Bill?"

Now let's go to sports with Chris Berman...

Careful a bit NSFW potty mouth there, Chris!

And now a word from our sponsor...

"That's pretty harsh!" "Well, so's your coffee."

Now it's time for everyone's favorite Sit-Com, "Heil Honey I'm Home!"

Amazing. Yeah, that's real. Canceled after just one episode.

Another day, another dead #2

The senior AlQDuh terrorist who allegedly plotted and carried out attacks against U.S. and coalition forces was killed in Pakistan, a knowledgeable Western official and a military source told CNN Thursday.© Mike Luckovich.

Hill Shopped at the Wal

ABC just found a nugget of goodness from all those years of corporate Town Hall meetings at Wal Mart - why, isn't that Hillary Clinton!?

In six years as a member of the Wal-Mart board of directors, between 1986 and 1992, Hillary Clinton remained silent as the world's largest retailer waged a major campaign against labor unions seeking to represent store workers.

(Video Goodness Link Here!)

Say what you will about the Hill - and how she didn't bother mentioning those six years of her life on the Board, or how she really didn't get the climate of Wal Mart to open up to women, Unions...(just China...) - but at least she shopped there!

I mean, look at that dress! Blue.... white pearl necklace.... white spots... why does that look so... so... so... familiar?

I Can Has Cheeseburger-In-A-Can

Man Eats Cheeseburger-in-a-Can - lives just long enough to post pictures.
(pops up a link for you there)

Outside:


Inside:

Whoa


German engineering.

Black Elvis Backs The Hill

Obama might have a 2/1 ratio on the racial bloc voting crowd - but Hillary has sewn up the all important Black Elvis vote. (Wall Street Journal)

Belvis, the Black Elvis is on board team Hill.

Clinton, who joked about having two left feet, shook her hips and did a little shimmy. She then gave Belvis a big high five, sparking applause from the crowd of mostly African-American long-time Clinton supporters.

Aaaaaghhh.... need a mind bleach to get that out of my head!

Never Forget

Today is the one year anniversary of the terror plot to put viral advertising around the Boston area. Luckily, this ingenious plot to spread the word of Aqua Teen Hunger Force was put down by the brave law enforcement officials and firefighters of Boston. Link to Boston Herald

Do you remember where you were when you got the word that Ignignokt and Err had shut down Logan airport? Never forget that viral campaign. Never.

It cost Sean and Peter (right) their beer money, and 2 Million dollars in fees to the Cartoon Network.

Actually, if you read the article, they were both unable to parlay their two minutes of infamy into a book and movie deal - so therefore they are complete failures.

But this is about the campaign. Was it worth every penny? You bet. Not only was that headline making material one year ago, but we're talking about it again. Now. Today.
A whole year later.

Worth every damn cent.

Never forget...

Tale of Two Drop-Outs

I've had a lot of free time today. I've also been quite sober. The medicine and liquor cabinets have both been emptied. I've been spending my time licking my wounds, nursing this hangover, and following the carnage that has followed last night's returns from Florida. Casualties were enormous. Rudy and Edwards both realized the futility and capital needed to continue their campaigns. So they stopped.

As the presidential field has whittled down further, I noticed some stark contrasts between the two. According to the media I was reading and listening to, the proud Democrat John Edwards was serenaded as a trailblazer, a man of the people, a hero - while the moderate Republican Rudy Giuliani was mocked for "living an illusion."

While only a few news establishments were surprised by Giuliani's announcement (and subsequent endorsement of fellow moderate John McCain) after his distant third-place finish in Florida. Edwards' decision must have shocked at least one person -- New York Times reporter Julie Bosman, after her Tuesday story (Pops the NYTimes article) portraying Edwards as the Energizer Bunny, motoring on and becoming a possible kingmaker at the Democratic convention. Oops.

Edwards got sound bites. Edwards was put on a pedestal. A man choosing to step aside so that history could sweep through. In other words, a chick or Tiger Woods can top the party ticket. As if he really thought he was going to stop either of those two events happening? I suppose that by getting out of the way he did understand he wasn't going to stop one of those events from happening.

But when the "other" story of the day came about, it was a comedy piece. The story of his Dizzying Fall For Ex-Mayor, by the tag team of Michael Powell and Michael Cooper, that showed little respect for Giuliani. On NPR - the reporter took Rudy's Leadership Book-on-tape and played portions of it, mostly to mock the author. "Should have listened to page 40." "Had he re-read chapter 6..." and so forth. He attacked Rudy on every level. The reporter laughed at his strategy to out-smart the process by focusing on one winner-take-all state, and ignoring Iowa and Nevada. He was mocked for spending in New Hampshire, but abandoning it when his poll numbers changed. He was attacked for not gathering better advisors, and for accidentally sending out an email with his weaknesses. Overall the report was very demeaning, childish and it was an idea I was going to do here on Blasphemes a while back but never got around to looking at the book.

At one point the joke was that Giuliani had sold more books than he had earned votes.

My complaint isn't that the NPR guy was wrong, but that their "All Things Considered" didn't play fair. There should have been an equally satisfyingly hilarious look at how John Edwards still thinks and is convinced that poor people vote. Poor people don't vote! You'd think he would have figured that out the first time he ran for President - lost - and lost by being attached to John Kerry. There should have been a further kicking and punching once the man was down perhaps by mentioning that his "populist" campaign wasn't very effing popular!

There was no balance, or even attempt at balance.
Cap'n's Bottom Line? They both ran terrible games, and should be mocked equally!

Scorsese & Stones

Dear Cap'n,

I've known about this for awhile, but just recently remembered that it comes out in April. Shine A Light....a Stones concert film done by Martin Scorsese. This is a no-brainer, a "lets get the band back together" type event. Anyway, here's the trailer. Feel free to use this. The only thing better than this would be a nude pictorial featuring both swimsuit model Marissa Miller and Scarlett Johansen...

The trailer (Opens a new window for you)

"The songs they don't perform?" Are you kidding me? That the only playlist they have!... Hopefully the movie will have Marty wigging out.

No link yet on that Miller/Johansen pictorial... yet

Sports News

The New York Mets got Santana. He was great in that other League, imagine how he'll be when he has to play real baseball!

The Lingerie Bowl was canceled. Now we're just stuck watching football.

Tom Brady ankle watch has been pretty constant but why hasn't anyone noticed half the Giants players have the flu? ESPN (pops a new window)

Tom Brady and Eli turned down marriage proposals

A reporter from TV Azteca named Ines Gomez Mont showed up to media day in a wedding gown with the intention of asking Tom Brady to marry her. Holding up a T-shirt that read "The Real Mrs. Brady," she finally popped the question.

"Wow! I've never had a proposal," said Brady.

Mont shouted, "But I'm the real Mrs. Brady."

In a rare unscripted moment, Brady shot back, "I've got a few Mrs. Brady's in my life."

Quickly catching himself, Brady added, "I'm a one-woman man."

No word on if Eli is taking her up on the offer as well - or plans on playing the field.

State of the Union, Sucka

Check this out - Link (pops a new window)

It's a point-by-point comparison of President Bush's SOTU speech and President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho's SOTU speech from the movie "Idiocracy."

See - Numbers are hard!

Again - people are hatin' and throwin' stuff at the boat. The OTHER numbers, the ones that don't make any sense - and contradict CNN's other numbers is this one. So I stole this and cleaned it up to post.

You'd think they were all Edwards supporters? What, all ten of them now?

Delegate Box Score

Here's our new scorecard - I lifted the data from CNN - But then I used my brain and now I'm really confused. There are delegates, super delegates, uncommitted delegates - and their numbers don't add up.

CNN calculates estimated pledges - not actual.

So I'm going with The Associated Press data now.

It's either that - or I can just make up my own numbers and I'll still be right.

Not listed:
Rudy's 1 delegate, and Ron Paul has 4.

Edward's Hair Drops Out

John Edwards will also be dropping out today too. (MSNBC)
He plans to spend more time with his family, and hair.

Democrat John Edwards is exiting the presidential race Wednesday, ending a crappy underdog bid in which he steered his rivals toward progressive ideals while grappling with family hardship that roused voters' sympathies but never diverted his campaign.

In case you don't get the "Breck Girl" joke. Oh, and now the world is safe from Damen from the Omen III... ...for one more election cycle anyway. VeeP anyone? VeeP? Or is that too much been there/lost that already?

Florida Voters

I keep reading that Florida's "closed" primary was wide open and that 3% of registered Democrats voted for Republicans. I don't care to go into conspiracy mode - that's not even what I'm getting at - it's the incompetence and continued uselessness of the poll workers who do not understand how their own system works. Does it matter? Well, it's probably just enough to give McCain the win over Romney.

That's another failure for Florida Voters. Surprise, surprise.

The idea here is that you register 29 days ahead of time - with party affiliation. If you're a Florida Democrat - too bad your votes don't count for President, until Hillary takes them - (OneF and I have discussed this one already)...
....and then you're only supposed to get a ballot for the team you've decided to vote for. But why would they? Why not vote for Huckabee to mess with all the Republicans? The Florida Democrats were supposed to vote on their ballot because there were important local elections that did matter and still counted.

The three stories (here's one) I've read about this, already, seems to show that poll workers let anybody into the booth to do whatever they wanted. Again, that's not fraud, it's incompetence.

Why make rules so complicated that no one understands them or is capable of enforcing them?
Way to go Florida. You're definitely keeping the banana in the Republic!

Yep, Goodbye Rudy Tuesday

ABC news is reporting that Rudy is in fact out of the race - and will endorse McCain.
(link to that)

I may have called that a little early.

What went wrong for Rudy? Perhaps saying 9/11 to start and end every sentence didn't help him. The fact that every New Yorker I've ever known hated the guy. Not because he did a bad job - but the way he talked down to New Yorkers. They didn't like that, for some reason. Was Rudy just a one trick 9/11 pony? Were voters questioning who his consultancy clients were, and the vast amounts of wealth he generated in his firm? Were people aware of his social moderate views? Maybe they saw him dressed up as a Rockette too many times? Were voters sickened by his coat-tailing of 9/11? Did he run a stupid campaign that focused too much on Florida?

Or was he just too bald?

I think it would be safe to suggest "yes" to all the above. There's probably not one single reason Rudy couldn't pull it together and win the nomination. I'm sure that dissing Iowa and New Hampshire didn't help him at all. I guess you'd have to ask a Republican voter in Florida.

And, will he be a contender for the VeeP spot?

Isolated Vocals

J from Chi sent this to me.

We're big Van Halen fans around here at the Blasphemes offices. OneF too. This is a clip of Running With The Devil, without the music. They isolated Dave's vocals, which means without the tunes. Yes, it sounds a little wacky in parts, but I bet a lot of rock singers sound like this. Some worse than others.

I feel like taking this and dubbing it over some techno. I think I have the man for that gig...

Goodbye Rudy Tuesday

Rudy wants you all to know to, "Remain calm. All is well!" (listen)

It looks safe to say that Rudy's "Screw the Small States, I'm Going to Get a Tan" strategy hasn't worked out too well for him. He might have wanted to try that in New Hampshire, only because the state wasn't a winner take all contest.

Eh, 20/20. Hindsight. All that rot.

My guess is that he might stay in the contest, but after a poor showing on SuperDuper Tuesday he'll be talking about his 'options'. These options will be who gets his couple of delegates, and whether he will be in competition with Fred Thompson for the VeeP spot.

I know it's not over yet, but I blew this one. I kept my eye on the National polls which had Rudy losing the first couple contests, but winning the GOP nod, and then beating the tar out of the Hill in the General. Guess we were both looking at the same data. I also had him picking Newt Gingrich as his VeeP - mostly to haul in the side of the party that didn't like Rudy.

Looks like they're going to need a bigger net.

It's been a crazy month, to say the least. Now we're talking about Old Man McCain or the Mitt from Mich, who governed Mass. Other than the hair, are there major differences? McCain is hated by his party, and Romney is hated by the voters. Again, what's the differences?

Oh, yeah, Hucklebee - but he's almost out of cash. That doesn't play well with the blue blood of the GOP.

To compare McCain or Romney - well, policy wise, it's kind of muddy there. And if you're comparing McCain and Clinton, hell, they're practically the same person. So if it's a personality contest, go John-boy.

I guess I'm kind of bummed because I had Rudy picked as the winner all along - it's kind of like following the pre-season, not seeing a lot of injuries, getting excited, but by that third game of the regular season, knowing that the Bears had no chance to get back to the Super Bowl.

And let me clear this up - I didn't pick Rudy because I like him - I picked him because he said 9/11 a couple million times and I thought he would beat the Hill in the final game. But it looks like Obama is making the playoffs a lot harder for her than she anticipated. Kind of like how the Patriots were almost unseated by the Chargers back-up team two weekends ago.

SuperDuper Tuesday is coming up. Be sure you're registered. And if you're in Illinois, be sure to vote early, vote often.

Asteroid - Near Miss?

I just read that next week, an asteroid the size of two football fields will just pass the Earth.

"No chance of impact"

These are the same guys who didn't change the metric to English when making a space probe to Mars and missed their target by half a million miles.

This sucker is supposed to be 334,000 miles away from us - or 1.4 the distance from the Moon. Do you have any idea how big "Space" is? That's not a near miss - that's a near HIT. Shouldn't we be sending Bruce Willis and Aerosmith up there to take care of stuff like this? Maybe the guy with the highest score on Asteroids should lead the mission? He's probably got more experience than anyone else on the planet.

So - if in the middle of the night there's a really loud 'bang' kill all the astronomers first.

State of the Union

"Dick! You eatin' Grapefruit again! Dang it, Dick!"

Bill Hogs Spotlight

Bill Clinton Got More Coverage Last Week Than Any Republican in the Race

Bill Clinton, the man known as The Big Dog, (lol, what?) growled his way to a large share of media coverage last week on the campaign trail, behind only his wife and Barack Obama and ahead of any Republican. (PEJ)

That should be no surprise to anyone, anywhere, ever. This coverage was not because of a liberal bias. No.

The week started with "Bill having a Dream" at the MLK Jr. service. The rest of the week Bill went on a racist attack against a member of his own party, thus tarnishing (whatever was left of) his Presidential legacy.

The surprise is that everyone called him on it.

And let's pause and give thanks that I didn't have to hear Huck-a-bee saying anything or Romney asking "who let the dogs out" at all.

AAFL? What the hell? AAFL?

It has come to my attention from a faithful reader that someone or a large group of people are pouring money into another failed football league.

Why not put your money in home mortgages based on shoddy loans instead? Or better yet, just put it in the street and let the wind take it away. It might be more satisfying to watch rather than half wits and athletes who couldn't qualify as the NFL practice squad fight it out in April.

I think, and feel free to comment on this, we, as a Nation of Football viewers, have hit our saturation point at about - March. Then, we need to hibernate until the first week of August.

Besides, if we don't take a few months off, hockey - basketball - and even baseball would suffer. And all the players would become Jell-O.

Why am I so skeptical of the new Football league? How many failed ventures do there need to be to prove there's only room for one professional Football league in the United States? Do we really have to go forward with this exercise every decade?

• AAFC The All-American Football Conference of the 1940s spawned the existence of the Cleveland Browns, San Francisco 49ers, and Baltimore Colts in the NFL.
  
  
• AFL The American Football League gave the National Football League serious competition throughout the 1960s before forcing a merger between the two leagues.
  
  
• USFL The United States Football League operated from 1982 to 1985, ultimately losing a bitter battle with the NFL.
  
  
• WFL The World Football League competed directly with the NFL for two years in the mid 1970s before folding under enormous debt thirteen weeks into its second season.
  
  
• XFL Vince McMahon tried to bring a professional wrestling flavor to professional football, but television ratings were dismal and the league folded after just one season.
  

Then there's Canadian football, and football in China - that's super. Doesn't mean it is worth watching.

This new thing is something called the AAFL and they start play in April. There are 6 teams, one of them called Florida. The head coach is none other than The Shane Mathews Band! And their QB is Chris Leak, who the Bears picked in last year's draft. I recognize some of the skill position players on all of the teams. Here's the link if you care... which by all rights, you don't and don't have to.

Hey, prove me wrong. History teaches lessons. But if the AAFL wants to give me and my readers tickets to show what a good time will be had when Michigan takes on Florida - be my guest. I'm sure we'll all fall over and show our bellies ranting and raving about how great your games are (as long as you put us in a skybox full of booze).

Until then, I'm watching the Super Bowl on Sunday and then I'm out until August.

G.I. TOE

He must already be in character because it looks like Duke's in a Coma.

Oh Jebus - Channing Tatum has joined the "G.I. Joe" team.

Tatum will play Duke, a key leader of the G.I. Joe crew. Sam Worthington originally was to play the role in the Paramount film. Worthington, however, could not coordinate the production's schedule with his current work on James Cameron's "Avatar," which has run over schedule.

Man - Man! Who is this - Tatum? Isn't that a girl's name? And Channing? That's Carol Channing's last name. He looks like a TOE!

Look, I don't expect them to nail the casting of the GI Joe movie. They're right around 60-40 on that : Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols, Marlon Wayans, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Said Taghmaoui and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the live-action film, which is set in the future and based on the popular Hasbro action figures.

But COME ON! This Guy?! He doesn't look sober! He's supposed to look like - well, like a test pilot that just came in from the cold after just wrestling a Grizzly Bear. He's supposed to look like the kind of guy that could beat up your dad - even if your dad was a fireman or even an astronaut!

Yo', uh... line? Oh yeah.
Yo Toe!

Kennedy, er, ahBama.

Two years ago Ted Kennedy was calling Barack Obama, "Osama" in the Senate chamber - in front of open microphones - and mostly because that's what Teddy thought his name was. Or maybe he was just kidding around? A little freshman hazing? Doubtful.

Who cares. Ted just pushed his giant middle finger in the air and waved it at Bill Clinton.

The Kennedy Machine is backing Barack - and Teddy must have had some 18 year old Scotch because he compared him to, and is calling him, "his brother."

Obama doesn't like the 60's? Well, now he IS the 60's. Sen. Obama must now carry the weight of the Civil Rights movement, the Kennedy legacy, Beatlemania - and everything else you can think of. Give the man a break, will ya?

Oh, and now I'm just waiting for Al Gore to jump on the "me too" train . Al is part of the "The Four" — Kennedy, John Kerry, Howard Dean, and Al Gore — each who have pledged to stop Hillary from getting the nomination, and each has his own reason for detesting Clinton, and mostly just wish to publicly wave their middle finger at The Hill. On second thought, if he thinks about it, he might want to wait until closer to the convention.... It'd be funnier.

Novak Rumor Mill

Robert Novak is spreading a rumor that John Edwards would land the attorney general post in an Obama administration, according to syndicated columnist - let me stress once more - by Robert Novak.

“Installation at the Justice Department of multimillionaire trial lawyer Edwards would please not only the union leaders supporting him for president, but organized labor in general,” Novak pulls out of his ass.

Novak is such a douchbag -

The Attorney General (most often) goes to prosecutors!

“The unions relish the prospect of an unequivocal labor partisan as the nation’s top legal officer.”

Stopped reading after, "An Inside Report by Robert Novak". I only bring it up again because I keep seeing it on the interwebs - and Novak should be fired. Not because he's wrong, but because he's wrong.

I can make sh*t up too. It's more fun to yell and scream about the stupid stuff going on out there.

Roh Roh, Rezko

The thorn in Obama's side, and the guy next to Bill and the Hill - Tony "Slum Lord" Rezko has been ordered to jail. (see here)

Looks like that flight risk went up when that picture of him and the Hill went up.

This is the part in Scooby Doo where the local sheriff takes the rubber mask off and hauls the guy off to jail - where Scooby and Shaggy both try to explain how they're not scared, while and then they over react to something stupid, and everyone gets a cheap laugh.

So he's no longer out on bail - just means that, uh, well - you better be under protective custody, buddy. Oh, and Tony - don't drop the soap.

Delegate Count Scorecard

The Primaries are about electing Delegates to represent candidates in the party conventions - (really?) and after Obama smashed the Hill last night, I thought it would be a good idea to steal CNN's graphics, edit them together to make them 'original' enough to post.

So here's the current count as of today the 27th - this does NOT include Michigan for the Democrats. So look for the leader board to change a couple times soon.

And if you don't see your guy - it would be because that person, while out, had no delegates. So if that person wants to "endorse" another candidate - it's a useless gesture, because there are no delegates to sway. So Biden - Dodd - Gravel - Kucinich - and Richardson all have ZERO delegates to swing around.

Same with "Dunkin" Hunter and Fred Thompson. Zero.

Now - there's a lot of speculation that Huckabee is completely out of money, and Giuliani is one third place in Florida from falling out next. Of course Ron Paul supporters read these numbers and see their guy in first place. Hey, who am I to disagree with that? I'm dyslexic with numbers too. That's why I'm on a boat commenting about politics as if it were some kind of sporting event.

Personally, I don't see the Huck out unless he completely bombs under Giuliani on SuperDuper Tuesday. He could also stick around just to throw his weight around as a delegate holder, of significance. Like I said, this is getting fun now.

The More You Know

Did you know...

...that a gallon of Ink, that is, black ink from an ink cartridge is $2,701.52

Try to remember that next time you're filling up your SUV.

McCain: More Wars

Sen. John McCain told a crowd of supporters on Sunday,

"It's a tough war we're in. It's not going to be over right away. There's going to be other wars. I'm sorry to tell you, there's going to be other wars. We will never surrender but there will be other wars."

"And right now - we're gonna have a lot of PTSD [post traumatic stress disorder] to treat, my friends, we're gonna have a lot of combat wounds that have to do with these terrible explosive IEDs that inflict such severe wounds. And my friends, it's gonna be tough, we're gonna have a lot to do."

I do not disagree with him- as I'm sitting here just counting the minutes until I'm up watching CNN 24/7 in 2008 for the end of the Iranian/Arab/Israeli/U.S. ceasefire...

I'd like to see him say how he'd like to STOP those wars from happening.

I had secretly hoped that John McCain would rise to be a Zachary Taylor, a Grant or an Eisenhower... a military man who understood the horrors of war -- and would do his best to keep the country out of future wars.

Zachary Taylor (Mexican War/12th President) "Old Rough and Ready" was prepared to go to war to keep the Union together in the dispute over how many slave states would be carved out of the land "liberated" from Mexico. His resolve kept America from tearing itself apart for a decade. It's still debated whether he was assassinated for his resolve.

U.S. Grant - (US Civil War/18th President) His foreign successes far outweighed his domestic governance. That said, his Administration signed treaties and settled wars rather than engage in them.

Theodore Roosevelt (Spanish-American War/26th President) He built up the Navy forming the Great White Fleet, and sent the Army to the Philippines to fight an insurgency - but also built roads and sent teachers as well as soldiers.

I'm not going to discount his American Imperialistic policies, including the expansion of the Monroe Doctrine to include all of Latin America. However, I will point out that Roosevelt was more of a peace-keeper than an a war-monger. He gained international praise for helping negotiate the end of the Russo-Japanese War, for which he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Roosevelt later arbitrated a dispute between France and Germany over the division of Morocco. Some historians have argued these latter two actions helped to avert a World War.

Ike Eisenhower (WWII/34th President) Ended the shooting of the Korean War, did not engage the US military in the Suez Canal what-have-you, kept us out of Vietnam after realizing the commitment needed to engage in that conflict. He did, however, plan the Bay of Pigs and was very much involved in the chess match with Russia -- but he did keep it contained as a Cold War rather than a hot one.

Again, I had hoped that John McCain would be a leader with the sensibility of Teddy Roosevelt "Speak softly, but carry a BIG stick."

But his Straight Talk seems to speak more of inevitability.

How sad.

More Stuff

Over the weekend I've been goofin' with the layout of Blasphemes.
I'm sure OneF will be thrilled, and Killre will throw his chair at me - again. (I was supposed to paint the boat... eh, too drunk)

But be sure to scroll down to see the two news feeders I parked on the Right hand side. AP and the Onion

If you don't have DSL - or this junk ain't showin' up - leave me a word in the comments section here. Otherwise, I'll assume all is well and you dig it.

Iranian Dominoes

The dominoes are set up. Can we place wagers on when this thing is going to start?

Iran's top military commander said Saturday that his forces would retaliate against American military bases in the Persian Gulf if they are involved in any possible future attack on Iran. (source)

General Mohammad Ali Jaafari, commander of the Iran's Revolutionary Guards, told Al-Jazeera television that it is Iran's "natural right to respond" if attacked by land or air.

But he assured Arab Gulf countries (some of whom are home to U.S. military bases) that only American forces would come under counterattack. Uh, if you're going to hit U.S. bases on someone's sovern soil - wouldn't that also be construed as an attack on the land that has a base on it? I mean, I hate to get technical here on you, General, but uh, aren't you saying you're gonna start firing a shotgun in the Middle East Mall?

"We realize that there is worry among neighboring countries, Muslim countries whose lands host U.S. military stations," Jaafari said. "However, if the U.S. launches a war against us, and if it uses these stations to attack Iran with missiles, then through the strength and precision of our own missiles, we are capable of targeting only the U.S. military forces who attack us," he told the station. Uh, yeah, wasn't this the guy who also said that they had stealth torpedoes and invisibility cloaks?

The U.S. has military bases in the following Arab countries: Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar and Yemen. These countries also aren't big fans of Iran or Iranian views of Muhammad.

On top of this saber rattling - there has been rumblings that Iran has the right to hit first. A sort of "Pre-emptive self defense." I have no clue where they got that idea from...."Yes, Virginia, we're going to go to war with Iran."







duh.

Al? Is he Serial?

CNN's Jack Cafferty has asked a question.... (CNN post)

Here’s my question to you: If the Democrats have trouble picking between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, should Al Gore consider entering the race?

Wha-wha-what?
My first inclination is, you're out of your galdurned mind for even bringing this question up? Again?

Now, as you know, I even endorsed an Al Gore run - but that was back in - what? - October or September of 2007. I knew that he could have un-seated the inevitability of Mrs. Clinton-elect *and as a refresher, at the time, she was unstoppable.

It would have been (and still could be) very personal. Al would have kicked Hillary in the nuts for marginalizing him in the Bill Clinton White House.... oh and not supporting him in his run.

Minor personal items aside, Al has a pretty good thing going with the Global Warming awareness racket he's got going on. He's already filled the garage with awards and trophies, what would he want with the Presidency? He already won that - and got off easy by not having to actually perform the duties of the President. Golf clap there for you Al.

Besides, just this week Al was hanging out with Bono and, presumably, receiving another award. Why would he want to lose that street cred and actually be the President this time around? Why would he take the pay cut?

Yes. Al Gore would win if he threw his hat into the ring.

There. I said it.

Yeah, he would win.

...as long as he didn't have to debate Global Warming, or explain why he didn't take the Kyoto treaty to the Senate - or discus all that money he got from China. Or Bill Clinton. Or Hillary Clinton. Or his close relationship with MoveOn.org, or the fact that he's publicly flip-flopped on every major issue that has come up since his 2000 campaign...

-his political persona has taken on several more iterations since then. Those changes -- from a moderate New Democrat to a liberal populist -- have left many in the party confused about just what Gore really believes and fearful that any attempt by him to re-emerge on the national scene would be met with regular and repeated taunts of flip-flopping by Republicans. (Washington Post.com)

Other than that, he'd be a shoe in!

Wow, did you notice that they placed the blame on Kerry losing is for flip-flopping, not his ineptitude as a politician? Interesting.

But back to Al winning - I mean, the Republicans are fractured trying to figure out who Ronald Reagan was and how best to do an imitation of him. Once they did it was Fred Thompson - and he did such a good a job... that he fell asleep. It's not to late to put Rich Little up there, assuming he's still alive that is.

And the Democrats aren't just divided - they're building a trench. A deep one too.

Al Gore can build a bridge over that trench. He can get the MoveOn.org crazy-heads, the Green Movement (ironic, I know - I already wrote about that) and the old skool Clintonians who have forgotten the past enough to vote for the Hill - but secretly hate the fact they're voting for the Hill now. Got all that?

Oh, yeah, Republicans? Well, maybe they'd just sit this one out and wait four years to clobber him?

But if the Hill is grabbing votes from Michigan and Florida - and playing every dirty hand she can scrounge up - it makes me ponder what dirt they've got on Al to keep him out in the first place. Hmmmm.....

The Hill with the Steal

The Hill wants and will be taking the delegates from Michigan and Florida, even though both states were barred by the national party. Hill is going to have them reinstated and counted in the race to determine the party's U.S. presidential nominee.... convenient because she ran and is running unopposed in those two states - because they're not supposed to have any delegates... which is something OneF said the other day. (source - Reuters)

And OneF called it

Clinton will steal -er, could stake claim, yes, that's more legal - to nearly all those delegates to the convention -- which will be more than 350.

Against good taste and party official orders, The Hill was the only candidate on the Democratic ballot in Michigan and holds a strong lead in Florida, which happens to have some kind of contest on Tuesday.

Again, the national party eliminated the delegates from Michigan and Florida because the states broke party rules by holding primary voting contests before February 5. Amazingly, just four days before Florida's primary, Clinton said she wants the delegates reinstated.

I never said that The Hill didn't have brass balls. Her slight of hand dirty tricks further illustrates how she will govern if no one stands up to her now.

I don't even have to talk about Jim McDougal or Whitewater, or Vince Foster, or Waco, or Janet Reno, or Ruby Ridge, or no response to the first WTC Bombing, or covering-up Flight 800, or leaving Somalia because of Blackhawk Down, or the lies - cover-up - lies and also lies throughout all of of Monicagate, Wag the Dog rather than commitment in Bosnia and Iraq , or Wal-Mart and China, Clinton and China, China and Al Gore...
...No, I don't have to discuss any of that. She's generating more material THIS YEAR than all the 8 years of the Clinton Administration. It's not even the end of the month!

Race about Race, Crackers Flee

White voters desert Obama as race divide starts to bite
Ewen MacAskill and Suzanne Goldenberg in Columbia, South Carolina (The Guardian)

Remember when I said that the Clinton strategy of losing South Carolina to win Super Tuesday was planned? (link here) Yeah, about that...

The Clinton strategy of marginalising Barack Obama as an African-American candidate showed signs of success on the eve of today's Democratic primary in South Carolina.

Polls suggest Obama is in line to add South Carolina to his win in Iowa, but they also show a sharp drop in his support from white voters, undermining his claim to a leadership that transcends race.

A repeat of this pattern in the 22 primaries on Super Tuesday, February 5, would see Clinton come out on top.

Article continues

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A poll for the McClatchy news service yesterday showed white support for Obama down to 10% from 20% last week. Clinton had support from whites and African-Americans while John Edwards drew his support almost entirely from whites.

That rating may be peculiar to South Carolina, with its history of racism, but it is a worrying trend for a candidate who spent all of last year trying to avoid race.

Obama, asked by a reporter on the campaign trail in South Carolina on Thursday if he feared the Clintons were trying to pigeonhole him as the black candidate, said he had run his campaign and public career "based on the idea that we're all in it together, and that black, white, Hispanic, Asian, all of us share common dreams, common fears, and common concerns".

That approach, Obama said, won him votes "across the board" in Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada, and will do so elsewhere. "I'll let the Clintons speak to what their strategy is going to be," he said coolly.

The Clinton team pulled a negative radio ad that cast Obama as an admirer of Ronald Reagan after complaints from fellow Democrats about its accuracy.

The Obama team, in response, dropped a negative ad about the Clintons.

But otherwise the bitter and divisive battle for the Democratic nomination continued unabated. In an interview on CBS yesterday morning Clinton conceded that her husband, who has led the personal attacks on Obama, had admitted that "maybe he got a little bit carried away".

But minutes later, on ABC television, she resumed attacking Obama for his links to a Chicago developer, Tony Rezko, who goes on trial for extortion next month.

Despite the hard-fought campaign in South Carolina, the Clinton camp has discounted the state and is concentrating its efforts on Super Tuesday, when 1,700 delegates in 22 states will be at stake.

Clinton, renewed by victories in New Hampshire and Nevada, is more confident on the campaign trail, and has begun to inject more emotion into her speeches.

She received an additional boost yesterday when her hometown newspaper, the New York Times, endorsed her for the Democratic nomination and John McCain for the Republicans.

This isn't looking good - however even if the Hill took all Super Tuesday, it's doubtful she'd have enough delegates to lock the nom at the convention. This could be going on until South Dakota or even the convention.

That's where some interesting deals might take place.

They could FORCE Obama to be the Hill's running mate... which would anger the Clintons to no known end. It's starting to get really interesting now.

Sly and the Govenator

Sly and the Governator

How do you think that conversation went?

10 Home

20 Aahha?

Yaaah Uns Dis, and tings like dat?

Ahaah!

Wha?

Ahha..

Vas is dis?

Huh?

30 goto 10

Al Franken, Unstable Douche Bag?

Long time SNL contributor, failed sitcom writer, failed actor and failed talkshow host Al Franken is running for U.S. Senate in Minnesota.

He's also acting like a complete unstable ass, but the media isn't reporting it. It seems that Al has some temper issues, and behaves fairly uncivilized in public.

Oh, but he's so funny for calling those with opinions not shared with him "big, fat, liar and stupid." That's impolite. He's also angry on the radio, so I've been told by the one person who's ever heard his "Air America" program.

However, out side of "the act" Al had an anger management issue back in 2004 at a Howard Dean rally in New Hampshire. A LaRouche supporter was giving Howard Dean some shit and Al Franken tackled him. Why he wasn't booked on assault and shunned for violating the heckler's first amendment rights is not known? Perhaps because he was a "celebrity?" I guess?

The story I picked up today was that he acted nutz again on the campaign trail in Northfield MN.

Early this month, on the campaign trail in Northfield, Minn., Franken inexplicably verbally attacked a college student that was himself trying to be as civil and jovial as he could. Apparently, Franken couldn't stomach the fact that student Peter Fritz didn't share his sort of activist, brash politics and for that crime, Franken mercilessly and without provocation launched into the unassuming kid.

C.J., a columnist for the Minn. Star Tribune, reported the tale of Franken's latest explosion of mental instability.

At a student rally held at Carleton College in Northfield, Franken began posing for photos with some of the students gathered there. According to Peter Fritz, the student who was the target of Al's rage, he was taking photos of Franken and his college friends when Franken asked why Frtiz wasn't trying to get into any of the photos himself.

One of Fritz' college pals informed Franken that Fritz was a conservative. This sent Franken off the deep end.

At that point, Franken reportedly began peppering Fritz with questions about supporting President George W. Bush and former President Ronald Reagan's tax hikes. Fritz told me he got tense and, as he does in those situations, started chewing the inside of his mouth, a gesture he said was mimicked by Franken; Fritz also thought his style of speech was mocked by Franken

Apparently, a campaign aide realized that Franken was going over the edge and tried to interrupt and get his patron to move along. With that, student Fritz tried to part as friends. As C.J. reports:

Fritz told me Monday that he then stuck out his hand to shake Franken's. "Well, at least it's nice to meet you," the GOPer said he told Franken, who reportedly replied, I can't say the same.

There was no handshake, said Fritz.

What the heck is wrong with Franken, anyway? He can't even be civil to a kid who offers his hand in a parting gesture?

Fritz told me Wednesday he was stunned by Franken's behavior: "I usually expect politicians to, at least, pretend as though, even in that kind of interaction, that they can convince me or have some kind of reasonable dialogue -- the whole Minnesota Nice thing, at least."

Dude. Al? What's up? You gots to shake hands with the electorate, bud. You can't even converse with someone who disagrees with your political positions? How you gonna' get along in the Senate?

And if Democrats think this man is an ideal candidate, what does that say about the Democrat Party?

Bronz

I kid you not, the people of Milwaukee will Bronze the Fonz.

A fictional TV character about a fictional time - the 50's AKA - the "Happy Days" of American life and times.
(full story)

The story doesn't mention if the Bronz will be installed inside Miller Park, (perhaps playing left field?) or in front of the Milwaukee museum of art. Perhaps in front of Harley Davidson?

Either way, this is 'Merica at it's best gang. We're building statues of the Fonz. It's got to be because we've already erected statues of all our greatest leaders in the fields of politics, civil rights, medicine, teaching, fire fighting, sports, and... well, it's time to make statues of loner dudes who live in attics that who jump sharks while on vacation.

Whatever Milwaukee, you can spend your money however you want.

City of Boulder, you're on notice - I expect to see a Mork & Mindy out of you next.
And no cheaping out - I want Mork AND Mindy, damn it.

Quantum of Solace

Since yesterday was Bacon day, I couldn't get to this - but they've named the "new" James Bond 22.

Hey, even though the last one was a two hour ad for Sony and Sony products - it was pretty and fun to watch. So for your enjoyment - I've cutn'dapasted this from the London Times (the original) Last comment - First time my eyes saw the title I thought it was "Quantum of Leap" which means it's a crappy title for a James Bond film. But "Bond 22" has kind of a not-so-fresh feeling to it. Anyhow - here's the story.

Ian Fleming’s reflection on the limitations of love

Ian Fleming’s Quantum of Solace is the strangest of all his James Bond stories. In it, Bond is merely a minor character. In place of the traditional Bond fare of spying, violence, women and dry martinis, Fleming served up a profound reflection on longing, marriage, society and passion. The “quantum of solace” to which the title refers is, bizarrely, a mathematical measurement of love.

The story, first published in Modern Woman magazine in 1959, has Bond sent to the Caribbean to sabotage a ship running guns to Castro’s army (an assignment that he takes on reluctantly because he has some sympathy with the Cuban rebels).

In the Bahamas he attends a dull dinner party at the Governor’s Mansion, where the elderly governor tells him a story about a man named Masters who married an air hostess. The marriage started well but soon the wife began a torrid and very public affair with the son of a wealthy island family.

It is at this point that the governor explains his theory: the quantum of solace, he says, is a precise figure defining the comfort, humanity and fellow feeling required between two people for love to survive. If the quantum of solace is nil, then love is dead.

Bond, who understands the limits of love, catches the governor’s meaning at once. When mutual solace falls below a certain point, 007 reflects, “you’ve got to get away to save yourself . . . when the other person not only makes you feel totally insecure, but actually seems to want to destroy you”.

The governor continues his story, describing how Masters left his faithless wife for six months. When he returned she wanted to go back to him. He treated her icily, even dividing their house in half so that they did not need to speak to each another. The quantum of solace had been reduced to nothing.

Quantam of Solace was Fleming’s attempt to write a more serious story, in the manner of Somerset Maugham. But it was also a reflection on his own turbulent marriage, which was troubled by infidelity and periodic coldness.

Fleming’s tale is a brooding study of the emotional realities of colonial life and takes place in one building; not much is likely to be reproduced in the new Bond film. Yet the original does offer flashes of the lighter Bond, including its opening line, in which one of Bond’s less well-known tastes is revealed: “James Bond said, ‘I’ve always thought that if I ever married I would marry an air hostess’.”

Clinton & Rezco

Today Show host Matt Lauer blindsided Hillary Clinton this morning with this photo. (link)
Matt was all kissy-kissy, but seemed to be in a rush in the interview. If you have a second, you should watch it for yourself.

Then he threw this picture up. The Hill paused a second to catch her breath, and belted out a rehearsed answer.

"I don't know the man. I wouldn't know him if he walked in the door. I don't have a 17-year relationship with him," Clinton said, referring to her charge that Barack Obama, a rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, has a longstanding relationship with Rezko.

My favorite part in all this is that she and Bill have taken money from anyone with a checkbook. Especially indited criminals. Their most recent scandal was their friend and party fundraiser Norman Hsu. (link)

I guess this is a case of "Takes one to Know One?"

BTW - added the logo there in-case anyone wants to post that picture on any message boards today.

Obama Delivers Top 10 List

Appearing on the "Late Show With David Letterman," Obama delivered a list of his top 10 campaign promises, including a pledge to rename the tenth month of the year "Barack-tober."

Also on the list is a vow to "appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin' good" and another to "put Regis on the nickel."

And the No. 1 campaign promise?
"Three words: Vice President Oprah."

Other candidates have been showing up all over late night TV, and apparently John Edwards came on the show and his carefully coifed hair was messed up by the host.

On Thursday, Obama joked that Lettermen couldn't repeat that prank, telling him: "you can't muss my hair."

© 2008 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
didn't say nothin' bout Cut'n'dapastin' - hah!

Kucinich? Yeah, he's out

Kucinich the quits race to spend more time with his wife. His incredibly hot, redheaded, gorgeous tongue studded wife. (link)

My hope, and I'm sure I'm speaking for OneF here as well (*that never ends well) that Dennis will continue to be a thorn in the side of the powers that be and continues to shout and call shenanigans every time he sees irregularities.

The fact that he paid for the re-count in New Hampshire, not for his campaign, but for the integrity of the entire voting system needs to be applauded. This is not the normal act of typical politics. However, Dennis is kind of on the pacifist lower left of the spectrum - he is not afraid to call out and speak out against the typical powers that be.

Thank you Dennis. Now go home and pork that wife of yours.

It's bacon day, after all!

No Nip Update

Bikini Girls Get More Pub, But Won't Wear Less

cutn'dapasted by Vicky Hollowell and Jay Sorgi

Click here to listen to the Bikini Girls' new publicity, and a decision to not go any less than their Packers' bikinis if they do a photo shoot with Maxim.

The Bikini Girls may be going to Maxim, but they won't go with less than their bikinis.

Maxim Magazine has contacted three women who, for portions of Packers games they've attended, worn nothing but their bikinis on their bodies.

The girls, Jen and Ashley and their cousin Liz who are all students at UWM, are considering their offer, but they've stated that they won't wear less than the homemade gold bikinis with Packers logos on them.

Jen tells Today's TMJ4 that it started out with a small goal.

"We wanted to get on the jumbo tron and it the coldest game of the season. for sure we thought we'd get on with our swim suits," said Jen.

"It's awesome!" said Jen about the publicity they've received, including national television exposure on Fox during the Packers-Giants NFC Title Game, in which temperatures reached -4.

"We got in the game and our adrenaline took over and all the fans cheering, and we just did it and we weren't cold one bit," claimed Jen.

Inside Edition and the Howard Stern Show have even featured the Bikini Girls, and they're considering marketing their trademark wear.

What?! That means there's a nipple cover up going on here!

And let's just remind everyone that the Green Bay Packers lost the game - why is this still in the news cycle? Isn't Tom Brady having surgery or something right now? Shouldn't we be looking into that right now?

Bacon to Feed the Economy

Congressional Bacon Stimulus agreement reached!
Happy Bacon day indeed!

If you work, (damn!) you'll get $300, plus $300 per child, up to $1,200 per family.

In what could be construed as election year pork re-distribution (full story)

Pelosi fell over and showed her belly once more to the lame duck administration to reach a tentative agreement on a roughly $145 billion economic stimulus package. It'll send payments to poor and middle class workers while offering businesses one-time incentives to invest in new equipment and write off tax losses.

Pelosi dared to suggest extending unemployment benefits and food stamps - and she was smacked in the nose again and forced to hold her tail between her legs, concluding that they could revisit the issue if the economy continues to slide.

Now, I'm all about getting my money back. I love it. And I would even suggest to everyone that if giving your money back to you encourages economic growth - why not try this policy a little more often? Perhaps, perhaps the government could curtail some spending on 18 different failing education programs?

However, this doesn't even seem hollow. It IS hollow. It's pandering to the 10x degree. It's pan-derific!

But how are we going to do to stimulate that dark, lonely old economy sitting in the corner of the bar, who really needs someone to buy her a drink? Here's how I'm going to go stimulate her. For $300, I'm going to give her such a stimulating that I leave it quivering and panting for breath, drops of sweat running down her spine, flush with endorphins and ready for a nice long cuddle. But because it's only $300, she isn't going to get the cuddle. Instead, I'm going to check my watch, touch the economy gently on the cheek and say that I had a wonderful time, but that it's time for me to go. I'll wash my hands and I will walk out, leaving the economy lying there feeling ultimately unfulfilled and a little bit ashamed of itself.

Happy Bacon Day!