Jun 30, 2008

Catena Ex Situ

Daily wrap-up here at Blasphemes...

As I am bashed all day for Cutting and Pasting a strange report about Bloggers getting marked as spam - by over zealous Obamamaniacs - followed by being bashed by FARK.com (who the hell linked that stupid ass story to FARK.com anyway?)

I get heaping praise from our friends at the Journal of Cartoon Over Analyzations

I, like so many other souls, used to be a huge Simpsons fan. Not only did I hate every chimp I saw, but I also intimately knew and treasured what the extra “B” stood for. In the past several years, though, there’s been a lot of wailing of teeth and apologia and controversy about when and even if The Simpsons got bad. Personally, I don’t need to get into all of the details about why I don’t watch The Simpsons any more. Because Cap’n at Blasphemes has done all the work for me.

The good Cap’n has done a good job codifying the primary reasons why the quality of The Simpsons ain’t what it used to be. (Except: I don’t want to get all post hoc ergo propter hoc up in your face, but the The Simpsons didn’t get bad until after Brad Bird left the show. Just sayin’.) Note that the essay was written before the movie came out.

Why The Simpsons Have Lost Their Way >Catena Ex Situ

Tags: Brad Bird, post hoc ergo propter hoc
Posted in The Simpsons, ex situ | No Comments »
So, at the end of the day... looks like I'm batting .500

Oh oh...

Google Shuts Down Anti-Obama Sites on its Blogger Platform
It [seems] like Google has officially joined the Barack Obama campaign and decided that its contribution would be to shut down any blog on the Google owned Blogspot.com blogging system that has an anti-Obama message. Yes, it sure seems that Google has begun to go through its many thousands of blogs to lock out the owners of anti-Obama blogs so that the noObama message is effectively squelched. Thus far, Google has terminated the access by blog owners to 7 such sites and the list may be growing.

I cannot find a link to prove the claim, but it is starting to look like this Blogspot shut down of anti-Obama sites occurred because of a concerted effort by Obama supporters.

What they did was go to the Blogspot addresses found on the site of the NoObama coalition called Just Say No Deal and constantly hit the "mark as spam" link so that Google's Blogger would be flooded with spam warnings. This caused Google/Blogger to freeze the sites marked.

Apparently, this campaign merely took advantage of Google/Blogger's flawed system of finding spam blogs.
Before you take me out:

For the record, Cap'n of Blasphemes doesn't care for ANY of our choices -- Pepsi or Coke.
I mean, Obama or McCain. They're both connected to very powerful lobbies (Chicago, and the GOP)-- they're both dangerously unqualified to lead the United States in this time of global uncertainty (one's a rookie, the other's just dangerous) -- they both contain High Fructose Corn Syrup... (meaning they're both tied into Big Corn) and I'm trying to cut that out of my diet, thank you.

And BTW, RC sucks too.

Jun 29, 2008

Somebody's runnin' for VeeP

General Wesley Clark on McCain, "I don't think getting in a fighter plane and getting shot down is a qualification to become president."

No word yet if McCain has asked Wesley Clark about what being overruled by subordinate NATO commanders who thought he was an idiot to incite the Russians while he was commanding the Serbian what-have-you makes him so smart.

Nanner. Nanner, nanner.

Jun 28, 2008

Quick thought

Some polls are showing Barack Obama with a 15-point lead.

Michael Dukakis had a 17-point lead in July 1988...

ClimateFaith

"More ozone and methane being destroyed than we previously thought," says Alastair Lewis of the National Centre for Atmospheric Science in Leeds, UK.

I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record here - a scratched CD - a half downloaded MP3...

I have contended on these pages that the Earth will not warm at the rate that the climate models suggest because they aren't factoring enough variables. There are a LOT of variables. However, three specific variables that I've never seen put into a climate model, because they're just too unpredictable. First, the heat sinks that are the Earth's Oceans. Second, the volatility of our atmosphere. Third, and most recently pointed out - Sun spots.

The Oceans not only absorb, but also reflect the sun's rays. More and less water change the equation for any climate model. It's too hard to predict, so that data is usually just ignored.

Second, our atmosphere. We know a little bit about how it works, but not enough to predict it. What happened to the Ozone layer? Why was there a hole? Why isn't there one now? Uh... Just leave that out, Timmy.
Ozone in the troposphere, up to 10 kilometres above the Earth's surface, is the third most important anthropogenic greenhouse gas after carbon dioxide and methane.

Yet climate models are not very precise when it comes to predicting where and in what quantities the gas is produced and removed. Part of the problem is that the molecule is largely recycled above the tropical oceans, where data is sparse.

When they began to measure how the concentrations of ozone in the troposphere varied over time, they discovered that 13% of ozone is lost each day in this area, not 8% as predicted by models.
Third, Sun Spots. According to some of the things I've posted here for you to absorb - to toss out as an alternate point of view to the norm (again, check the masthead) the temperature of the earth MIGHT actually be related to the fluctuations of the giant nuclear fireball in the center of our solar system. Fancy that?

Here's the thing - I'm not sure. I'm not positive that I'm right. There, I've said it. Problem here, is that there isn't a debate. There's only junk science and the blind religion based on "Climate Change" band-waggoning. Non-thinking, blind acceptance to something that has not yet been observed in more than an anecdotal fashion... THAT IS NOT SCIENCE. That is FAITH....

So I'd like to start calling those that blindly follow this religion of ClimateFaith, ClimateThumpers.

I think I better get off the chair here before I get hurt.
Here's the link to the article from NewScientist

And here's a link to another trusted source.

Chicago Tribune


I've been seriously considering ending my subscription to the Chicago Tribune.

It's a pretty crappy paper - and I'm laughing everytime Zell plans on capitalizing on the pieces of his purchase. Specifically, last week he announced that he's considering selling the Tribune Tower in Chicago and the LA Times building in LA.

Zell means Sell - The folks at the Tribune are just now starting to get the picture.

Zell also announced that he doesn't really find the need for all these "reporters" which is equally hilarious.

In the meantime - on page 2, Saturday Metro - Bottom Left hand corner -- a place reserved for stories to die, and go completely ignored - "NRA sues Chicago, 3 suburbs to repeal their firearms bans" A day after the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision striking down a gun ban in Washington, the National Rifle Association on Friday sued Chicago and three suburbs to have their firearm bans repealed.

The separate federal suits by the NRA target gun bans in Evanston, Morton Grove and Oak Park in addition to Chicago.

On Thursday, the Second Amendment Foundation and the Illinois State Rifle Association also sued Chicago to overturn its 26-year gun ban." (I found the rest online - linkage)

Why bury that story?

Oh, probably because on Friday the editorial was to Repeal the Second Amendment.
This is worth reading just for the 18 pages of comments from readers.
(link to that)

Actually, after thinking it through, there IS enough comedy in there I should keep the subscription.

Papers Please... Shut up




The London community support officers (they're not real cops, but deputied volunteers who fancy themselves real ones) as they confront a videographer who has the temerity to take footage of a public street. It starts with a sudden gloved hand over the camera lens, then it's "give me a good reason why you're filming," then it's on to "papers please"; and when the guy behind the camera, sensibly enough, asks under which law he's not allowed to film there, the bully-boy hisses "shut up." Twice.


This isn't just in the UK, either. I have a close friend who was shooting B-roll -- that is, images that are supplemental that covers the main shot in an interview or documentary.

He was in NYC, and not long after 9/11.

He was shooting some black and white shots of NYC street life. He's on a bike.

Patrol car pulls up in front of him.

Only, the difference between his story and the story in the video is that he's picked up and thrown into a holding tank for 24 hours.

Eventually, the Secret Service looks through his books, look at the footage. They finally figure out he's not a terrorist. They figure out he's just a frustrated filmmaker. "Sorry. Off you go."

Jun 26, 2008

Guns and Butter

I was having lunch with a client today.
There were four people there, myself included.
The client, a female of the age of somewhere between 40-50, the guy who brought me into work there, Chuck, and another guy who I didn't know at all.

The guy I know, Chuck, I have worked with for the past ten years. Staunch Ron Paul supporter. We've been to some pretty bad gigs, and we both like the Big Lebowski. So we have that much in common.

Sloppy Joe day at the cafeteria. And I have selected the onion rings with a giant cookie -- but just a glass of water, as I'm trying to cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup.

I sit down. Last. Almost like I was intruding on their space.

The chit chat starts up with the typical bullroar
about sports and pleasantries. Weight loss and basketball.
I throw in a quick quip that the client must have just graduated college. A
couple chuckles. "You can invite him back anytime..."
it's that kind of interaction. Uncomfortable and fake. I feel bottled up.

Then Chuck opens up, "Yeah, just don't get him started
on politics..."

I took pause. Thought it through real long. It's as though he has just dared me.

"Yeah.... SO... the Supreme Court just shut down the
DC handgun ban!"

BLAM

The client immediately shot out, "oh no!"

BLAM

Ahah.... I'm into it. I couldn't contain it any longer. As if the hot magma
of a long dormant volcano was about to spew into the
stratosphere.

"The court has taken every single stanza of the second
amendment and spelled out the definition."

"So I take it you're FOR this?" The bait dangled in
the water. Much in the same manner the sloppy joe in
the corporate Aramark cafeteria had baited me not five
minutes earlier. I grabbed onto that worm with my
full, wide open bass mouth.

"The letter of the law says that the individual has
the right to keep weapons. The only argument against
the second amendment has been based upon comma usage.
That's a bit weak."

"What do you mean commas?"

"I mean, that a right that was granted by the Framers
of the Constitution, the Fathers of the country... a
right to the people was going to be taken away based
on comma usage? That is not enough of an argument to
take a freedom from-"

Chuckles decides to chime in a bit. Something about
the State isn't coming to take his gun... then ads
that he's fired "his gun" once. Inside, I did a
face-palm. Thanks for helping out with the point,
Chief.

Somehow in Chuck's little interruption he mentions the
SCOTUS's grand decision to grant US rights to the
detainees at Guantanamo Bay.

The client can't wait to start discussing this. All
about the rights of the "People" and human beings.
Non-thought out liberal talking points that are all
emotion or feelings based, and not of logic. I'm not
arguing torture mind you gentle readers, only the right
for the US Military to take these "enemy combatants" to
Cuba. Those whom were lifted straight from the Afghanistan
theater of war. At least, in the context of this argument.

My points to her are that 1. These folks are not citizens of
the United States, but the SCOTUS had just granted
those rights to non-citizens. 2. They are enemy
combatants, and citizens of a third country, not native to Afghanistan.
3. Would it make her feel better if they were just killed on the battlefield, as they would have been by any other Army, at any other time, in the history of the planet earth?

But, now I was out of my element - I'm not well read on the
rights of citizens over non-citizens in the US Court
system. I assumed, and still assume that those rights
are in fact different. I'm not a lawyer, I don't even
pretend to be one on television... but I do not know
if these are extremely different things...

Her argument is that the detainees should be treated
"like human beings, with the same rights as us." which
is wrong, and was debated. Chuck threw in a couple pennies to steer
us toward his world view - as I was only debating the semantics of the argument.

Mostly, because that's how you WIN arguments.
You deconstruct your opponent's logic or framework of their debate.

"They could pick you up and hold you without-"

"No, they CAN'T..." I then cited the Jose Padilla
case, and the homeless gents in Florida who were planning to
blow up the Sears Tower. They are citizens being tried
in US Courts. Completely different.

Then she threw something I hadn't anticipated. "If we,
or you, believe in our court system as just- Then why
not just try them?"

Again, hers was a false argument, as it's not about
our courts being just, or that they shouldn't be tried
in the civilian court. I could have stated that we did
try Ramsey Youseff - and he's in a SuperMax prison -
but for all that trial did was broadcast to the 9/11 attackers
the mistakes that their team made.
But I didn't. Instead I didn't frame it right, and
instead lunged into some kind of made up story trying
to compare an illegal alien committing a bank robbery,
and killing some people - and then we gave him
citizenship so that he could be tried in the courts -
that would somehow be similar..." But I wasn't thinking about it
correctly as my sloppy joe was getting cold and I
really hate eating food cold.

"Why does that illegal have different rights?"

I didn't have a good answer - as, again, I don't know
the legal differences between how our courts uphold
our laws to other citizens. I hope to look into
that...

"Wouldn't you expect to be tried and not detained
without being charged?"

"No - Frankly, if I were in Afghanistan, and pointed a
weapon at the US Army - I would EXPECT to be SHOT."

Then this went into extending rights of nation's laws
to others - and I got her in a trap. She said
"the civilized world-" and I knew I had her.

I even told her.
"You have just defeated your argument. You said that
those first world nations - the Western world - you
assume would give their rights to other people. I
wouldn't expect that to happen in Zimbabwe!"

Her defense, "You wouldn't want those rights..."

"You're right! There AREN'T ANY." Then I brought up
how their Obama was forced out of the race and th-

Chuck steps in.
Chuck brings it back to gun control. He blabbed on an
on about the state coming to take his guns... he added
that if DC was to ban the guns, then it's up to DC to
protect him - and if they failed at that task, they
would be negligent and he'd sue the shiznit out of
them. Supportive, kinda'. Thanks, Chucky.

The client then shares a personal story of a friend of
hers who was killed by her father. She failed to
mention "accident" in the story. Her friend was home
from college, early, at night and unannounced. She had no key.
She "broke in" through a window. Her father shot her.
Dead. That's why she's against guns and she'll never be for guns.

She announces that, "She surrenders her right to bear
arms."

BLAM

"Fine. You have that right. BUT DON'T SURRENDER MY
RIGHTS!"

"What?"

"You freely surrender your right to the second
amendment. Fine. That is YOUR choice. Not mine. Do not
take my rights away from ME."

"Huh?"

Chuck and the other guy - the other guy who hasn't
said ONE FUGGIN WORD the entire conversation - get up
with their empty trays.

"You can choose to have a gun or not, that's fine. The
slippery slope is that if you choose not to have a
weapon, it's typically assumed by people who make that choice
that everyone shouldn't have a gun.
That's my right granted to me by the Constitution."

"Just because it's in the Constitution doesn't make it
right. There's nothing in the Constitution saying
women can vote." We all walked to the tray
collection area and put down the uneaten foodstuffs.

"You're right and you DIDN'T until 70 years ago."

DING - The elevator has arrived.

I'm done. I assume I'm going to be asked to leave at
this exact point. Chuck has gone pale. He can't
believe I stood up to her - or that security hasn't
escorted me out of the building.

"Well, how often do you get to have a fun, lively
debate at the cafeteria?" I realize that my mouth
may have flapped a little to long and a little too hard.

We step into the elevator.

"On the bright side, the project I'm working on is
almost finished..." I toss out as the doors close.

Chuck says, "Nice segue!"

I will be surprised if I'm asked to work here again.
Please click on some ads so that I can eat.



And if you hit the LINK here it will give you the PDF of the SCOTUS decision.
All 156 pages of it.
It's an awesome nit-picking semantic argument.

Jun 25, 2008

No Death for Child Rapists

The Supreme Court has ruled today that "the death penalty is not a proportional punishment for the rape of a child."

Did I miss something in the morality and the use of the State to enforce said morals?
I present the dissenting remarks from the decision:

The Dissent:
JUSTICE ALITO, with whom THE CHIEF JUSTICE, JUSTICE
CALIA, and JUSTICE THOMAS join, dissenting.

The Court today holds that the Eighth Amendment
categorically prohibits the imposition of the death penalty
for the crime of raping a child. This is so, according to the
Court, no matter how young the child, no matter how
many times the child is raped, no matter how many children
the perpetrator rapes, no matter how sadistic the
crime, no matter how much physical or psychological
trauma is inflicted, and no matter how heinous the
perpetrator's prior criminal record may be. The Court provides
two reasons for this sweeping conclusion: First, the Court
claims to have identified "a national consensus" that the
death penalty is never acceptable for the rape of a child;
second, the Court concludes, based on its "independent
judgment," that imposing the death penalty for child rape
is inconsistent with " 'the evolving standards of decency
that mark the progress of a maturing society.' " Ante, at 8,
15, 16 (citation omitted). Because neither of these
justifications is sound, I respectfully dissent.


Let me add my two bits on the discussion with the following...

First, THIS.

Second, okay, fine. That's the way you're going to let life in America continue. Let them live, and we shall then offer the following -
Neither cruel nor unusual, and not death.

I can only hope that this will encourage the police to shoot first and shoot to kill - or that those who commit child rape get their "justice" in prison. And for those of you who don't understand my brand of humor - I mean they are raped to death in prison.

Jun 24, 2008

HBO rocks


Check this out - HBO will air every one of George Carlin's comedy specials in Memory of that magnificent bastard. Fire up the old DVR and the VHS -

If you can't read the press release, click on the picture, and it'll pop up there for you.

I may have to go pick up HBO just for this...

Following up again

Following up on the most disturbing "Father's Day" story I ran a week ago... Axel Casian was the 2 year old boy who was stomped to death by his father on a quiet country road.

The California Department of Justice lab in Richmond also confirmed his attacker Sergio Aguiar was the child's biological father. Aguiar, 27, was killed by a gunshot wound from a Modesto police officer who tried to stop the man's attack.

Stanislaus County sheriff's spokesman Raj Singh said Aguiar had no previous criminal record (other than that he may have been illegally in the country... which I can only confirm on the internet, so it's only conjecture and totally unsubstantiated - but he had no official criminal record, which means he was never picked up for anything) and it is still unclear what triggered the attack. Other than demons.

Stand by for the toxicology results. That ought to take up to four weeks. By then everyone will have probably moved on to something stupid Amy Winehouse did.

There's also an unsubstantiated report that the baby's mom is a kindergartner teacher. I'm not sure if that has any relevance to the overall story.

Punny AP

Actual headline:
"Fluoride's glory may be cresting"

Can I please beat the living shiznit out of an AP writer now, please? Please?

I don't actually care much about Fluoride in my drinking water... well not as much as this guy:

It's either a byproduct of the coal industry being dumped into the water supply and sold off as "being good for your teeth" or it's fantastic - and that's why Americans have been getting taller since they started it. What would be more interesting is to see if Osteoporosis starts declining in aging Baby Boomers as they enter retirement homes.

You can't eat toothpaste, fluoride ingested is bad - but somehow it's good for your teeth... but I don't care about that right now... it's that DAMN headline! I'm going to go knock out that writer's teeth - Would you believe, pull out his/her hair.


Jun 23, 2008

Baseball & Football

This is a reprint of his classic bit "The Difference Between Baseball and Football." Excerpted from Brain Droppings by George Carlin, Copyright 1997, Comedy Concepts Inc. Published by Hyperion. All rights reserved. Which was cut'ndapasted from FOX SPORTS on MSN.


Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: in football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform, you'd know the reason for this custom.

George Carlin knew. Baseball is a walk in the park. Football is war. (Ed Bailey / Associated Press)

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.

Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!

Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs — what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups — who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error. Whoooops!

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end — might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.

In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! — I hope I'll be safe at home!

Typo or Genious?

As a persistent spotter of stupidity, perhaps George Carlin would have chuckled at this headline?

Proves his point.

All of them.

Goodbye George

George Carlin has died from heart failure. The man who made famous the "seven words you can never say on television" passed away. He was 71.

Carlin, who has had several heart attacks and a history of cardiac issues, went into the hospital this afternoon after complaining of heart problems. He was leading the Comic Heart Attack contest, but never was able to burn himself up.

Carlin has more than 20 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, numerous TV and movie roles, and three best-selling books to his credit. Last year, he celebrated his 50th year in show business, and he had just finished his last HBO special in March, "It's Bad for Ya." And albums means vinyl. And that 7 dirty words bit - he took that to the Supreme Court and won. He won for you, you dirty sons-a-bitches. Here's the link to that -- NSFW, cause, you can't say them on television - and probably can't hear them at work. Just a guess.

I was lucky enough to see him in Vegas about two years ago. He was doing all material on dead teenagers, dead people, death... wasn't all that funny. Actually, it was a bit uncomfortable. But that's George for you. 80 dollar tickets, 40 dollar drinks. What? You want I should entertain you? Go Fugg yourself.

I will miss George very, very much.

Cubby Kool Aid

Okay.

I think I'm ready.

Make sure it's got extra sugar.

And not the High Fructose Corn Syrup - I'm trying to cut that out.

Nope, not blue enough.

Okay. (Deep Breath)

I think I'm ready to drink the Kool Aid.

Why now? 14 wins at home. They out-played, out-smarted- hell they beat the snot out of the first place Sox. Pitching. Batting. Pitching. Fielding. Pitching. All capped off by Dempster's incredible outing... and ESPN coverage that made it look like some kind of - dare I say - playoff game.
"If you want to be the best, you've got to beat the best," Ozzy Guillen.
They have definitely made the case that they are the best, and unlike last year, the numbers aren't lying. And before you say that the Sox didn't have their "full strength team" on the field - neither did the Cubs... that's what's made me re-think my position of doubt and despair as a Cubs fan. (which is exactly the trap that everyone else falls into every stinkin' year!)

Pitching. The Pitching.... and without Z.
"Coming off the field, it's really special," Dempster said. "When you dream of coming to Wrigley Field and being a Cub, that's the kind of feeling you dream about.

"It's amazing, and we just want to keep it going."
Let me see that cup.

Jun 22, 2008

Costco Size Obama Waffles

Obama has already waffled on the War, protecting Israel - (or pandering to the Jewish voting block), NAFTA, and the biggest one of all -- his promise to use public funds.

Now, off the top, I remind you I can't do math. I'm barely verbal - but I can figure out the difference between 89 million and 500 million. I get it. There's a couple more zeros there.

It's the way he put out the most half hearted reason for not sticking to his promise. There's a video -- but to boil it down, Obama didn't just say, "It's a whole lot of money."

Joe Biden said today, "In terms of undermining the public financing idea for everyone'' the decision "doesn't help,'' Biden, a Delaware Democrat, "It's going to be harder to make the case'' for public financing, he said.

Senator Lindsey Graham, a McCain supporter appearing on the same program with Joe Biden, said Obama "is reinforcing everything that's wrong with politics.''

"This is a game changer in terms of the general election,'' said Graham, of South Carolina. "This will not go unnoticed by the American people.'' McCain plans to take public financing for the general election campaign. I disagree, as there are about five people who have noticed this 'game changer.' I guess I'm one of the five?

New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson defended Obama, saying the Illinois senator's decision "is in the spirit of reform of the public financing system.''

Through May 31, Obama has taken in $277 million, $10 million of that for the general election. McCain raised around $121 million. The taxpayer funding available for the general election is $84.1 million for each candidate.

But does anyone really give a rip? Why should they? What this means is - and what I've taken away from this - is that the typical NASCAR type of funding and stickering of your political guy is now going to be reinforced... and it's a president for the next and every following election.

Jun 20, 2008

More Waffles

Barack Obama's position against NAFTA has, um, evolved, coincidently after the Ohio primary and now that he has secured the nomination. Who would have imagined that?
(CNN)

Jun 19, 2008

Change Sucks

What a day it has been.

The theme of the day has been "Change"

Let's change our mind. Let's change what's going on. Let's change the direction. Let's surprise you with a new time for that thing we were supposed to do later, that you already moved your schedule around, after we talked about it for 40 minutes when I didn't have 40 minutes to be your logistics officer -- turns out it doesn't matter, because you came 2 hours earlier than we just talked about...

Change, my friends, sucks.
First a customer has changed their mind on a project I'm working on. It hasn't been canceled - not yet - but it's been groupthinked to near death by a committee of people trying to cover their asses and make sure their dirty inky finger smudges are on the project as an official "contributer" to the "process." Glad I worked on that budget and schedule all last week. Really glad I was kept up-to-date with all those grand new thoughts and budget trimming you were talking about. Thank you. Really extra plus happy that I can't charge you for changing a project that hasn't even been approved yet. That's excellent. Let's also change my attitude about working for you pukes.

Second, the family reunion of The Cap'n's is supposed to be happening sometime soon. It's at a completely inconvenient time - and on a Friday - four states away. I'm really looking forward to it. Meanwhile, powers and forces beyond my control are moving things, and spreading logistics to 4 corners... things like "do you mind picking up suchansuch in Iowa on your way through Ohio?" -- Did you flunk geography class? Yes. I DO mind driving 5 hours out of my way to get that slug - then 5 hours back to where I started. Never mind the gas!
"Oh, if it's too much trouble, then we're not going either." And then they changed their mind three more times after that discussion.

Then there's life here at the Cap'n's houseboat. Little changes around the domestic world are compounding with the other stuff. The fuse is short. And any small change causes a feedback loop in my tiny little mind. Then it all shuts down. Worst of all I had to put on a shirt to see what it "looks like." Which really means, how much of a slob do you look like in this NEW shirt? So at one point in the day - I literally had to change.

Then I have a guy picking up or dropping off some crap - and I can't remember which at this point - but I had to talk to him for about 40 minutes about how our schedules would synch up. We finally decided that I'd go over by his place - at 9:00. He calls at 7:00 saying he's about to pull up to my house. I don't know about you, but when you plan something, have a detailed conversation about that something - and it involves time- don't you want the other party to STICK with that long discussed detailed plan? Me too -- now after all this I'm just another jerk-off blogger bitching about my day instead of showing funny pictures and complaining about stupid shiznit that happened to other people.

Bottom line - Why does everyone want to change all the damn time? Change is challenging Change is disruptive. Change is damaging. Change sucks.

Jun 18, 2008

Obama Waffles

Obama meets with Iraqi foreign minister, assures him he won't pull out troops any time soon.

Could it be that Obama is planning to pivot? That is, what if he goes to Iraq and suddenly declares upon his return that he has been persuaded that the surge has made a difference, that things are going much better, and that he is now convinced victory is both possible and crucial?

On the downside, he would risk alienating those among his supporters who crave defeat in Iraq, either for ideological reasons or out of sheer hatred for George W. Bush?

Well, there's no reason to support this supposed downside. Nancy and the boys have done absolutely nothing to stop Bush or even open any investigations. The Supreme Court has done more to stop Bush Administration policies than the Democratically controlled Congress.

Why?

I think this is the beginning of the Democrat party's complete and total turn around on the war. They will suddenly, almost out of no where, declare that it's their turn to "make it right" or they'll use some other catch phrase from Phil Collins -- to protect Iraq and the world from the Iranian bomb. But they will start this campaign by keeping the exact same plan that Bush has already adhered to the entire course of the war. But since it'll be on "Their Watch" there's no way they'll let a complete and total failure be pinned on them... It'll be like Nixon taking over Nam. Pretty much the same, with some bombing in Cambodia. And if they fail, they can always point fingers at Bush.

They will declare all the victories of all the wars that Democrats have fought (WWII ought to come up a couple more times than the Bay of Pigs or Vietnam, methinks...) and how critical it is for America to stand up to Iran.... and somehow everyone will have collectively forgotten that George Bush has been saying the EXACT thing for seven years.

Or they're complete spineless idiots and WILL let the failure fall on their shoulders the second they take the keys into Washington for 2 years. Immediately following the Republicans will rebuild their party to re-invade Iraq. Like the Hulk movies, we'll be re-invading Iraq every 5 years.

Chotchkies Outrage

"Wait, you told them we sell pints?"

Alex and his friend went to Tony Roma's, a casual dining place known for its ribs, and got a little twinge in their gut (it might have been the bagged food they were served?) when they realized that the "16 ounce" beer they were served came in a 14 ounce glass. The glass was just as tall as a normal glass, but it had a thicker bottom, making it hold less. These glasses are known as "falsies."

The friends might not have noticed the difference except that Alex's buddy got his beer served in a normal glass and Alex got the thick-bottomed one. They conducted experiments involving pouring water between the different glasses and concluded that yes, Alex got 2 ounces less. When they complained, the manager said, "who said we served pints?" and said it was policy to only serve beer in 14 ounce glasses, and soda in 16 ounce glasses. Which might have been ok, except when the waiter first took their order, he specifically asked whether they would like 16 ounces or 23 ounces.

16 is not 14. He was charged for 16.

Moral outrage - mass hysteria. Yes, yes. But before you dismiss the 2 oz, this is stealing - and if it's franchise wide, then it's a policy of ripping off their customers.

Just sad - and good catch there Alex. Alex, by the way, only had a form letter follow up from the corporate home office.

14 is not a pint.

Since we're on the subject. 16 is not a proper British Imperial Pint either, friends. 20 oz is.

Ever since 1699, successive British governments have found it necessary to measure and certify the pint and half-pint glasses made and used in this country.

The stamp of the crown on top of a pub glass has stood as a guarantee that it is big enough to deliver a full pint.

The rules, which were intended to assure suspicious beer drinkers that they were not being given short measures, meant a crown and certification number was printed on each glass.

What's the bottom line in all this? Either institute a Government seal of approval of what constitutes a proper pint (not bloody likely) with a flag pin or something - or a slightly better idea would be to not go to a Chotchkies for your "buddy hang out place" beer slamming fest.

Razzledazle

When asked what’s his secret to staying creative, Seth MacFarlane’s answer was very actionable. He said to watch this specific YouTube clip. Really.



"You're going to f**king thank me for that one," MacFarlane said.

And if he’s still creatively blocked? He says he searches for canceled Fox sitcom "Back To You."

"You'll be pleasantly surprised that there are some people even more creatively blocked than you are," he said.

(Actually, this one video alone explains most of the 'humor' of the Family Guy program)

Jun 17, 2008

Obviously Not a Golfer

President Obama will not roll on Shabbos -- because he plans on yanking the White House bowling alley and replacing it with a basketball court.




I told you he wasn't a bowler.

37, Dude.

Nixon was a bowler.

Demons

This story continues to haunt me.
Authorities were grappling Monday to determine what drove a young father to fatally beat his 2-year-old son on a farm road outside Turlock before a police officer arrived and shot the man to death.

One motorist who tried but failed to wrestle Sergio Casian Aguilar, 27, away from the child said the assailant was forceful and hollow-eyed, muttering that there were "demons" in the boy, according to a local newspaper account.

At one point, witnesses saw Aguilar, who had no criminal record or history of mental illness, bash the toddler to the pavement like a doll, and then stomp on him, authorities said.


Demons. Yeah. Demons.

Jun 16, 2008

Museums

An Evolution Museum plans to build a museum dedicated to evolution in Petersburg, KY, opposite the Creation Museum.
The Evolution Museum believes that all people must be educated on the theory of evolution. The world needs balance and the Evolution Museum aims to create balance in the Midwestern states of the U.S.

The proposed location for the Evolution Museum is right across the highway from the Creation Museum.

The Evolution Museum will be a non-profit and funded through online donations. The pillars of the non-profit will hold the values of transparency and social direction. All activities will be published online and members will be able to give guidance to the non-profit.

That's awesome -- but I thought, don't we already have those? They're called "Museums?"

It was all fun and games...

until I found this picture...

My gads!! Not only is this picture depicting the idea of adapting to one's environment - AKA the notion of Evolution... it's ALSO FUGGING WRONG!!! Horses DIED OFF and went EXTINCT in the Americas. Neither fun, nor facts.

I hereby declare that this form of ignorance should be considered child abuse and prosecuted with vigilance. If you are a believer of such stuff, you should ask for a refund from your grade school.

Venture Bros Ep3 Season 3

Been watching Venture Bros. Season 3.

So far they've all been dealing with the past. The dark mysterious past!

The creators have all but apologized for last night's airing - as it should not have been aired so closely next to the Monarch's travel through his historic past.

Doesn't matter - it's still the best damn show on television - and worth it just for the GI JOE bit where the bad guys still jump out of helicopters with parachutes, but in the Venture Bros. they go back and shoot the parachuter. That's awesome!

Buy a T-Shirt

Jun 15, 2008

Happy Fathers Day

Do you believe in monsters? I do. Now.

The following article is one of the sickest thing I've read in a long, long time.
I will say with full profanity that justice has been served, as this form of dog SHIT doesn't deserve to exist on this planet with the rest of us. Luckily, he no longer does.

I'm comforted only by a few little items, someone actually tried to stop him. They got involved. Tried to break the bystander effect. The elderly couple and the two or three other cars that stopped. I'd also like to give an award to the officer who used his sidearm to remove the human stain off the earth. He probably saved the taxpayers millions of dollars.

Please tread carefully, as I am sickened by the following story...

Officer kills man who beat child to death

TURLOCK, Calif. (AP) — A 27-year-old man was fatally shot by police as he kicked, punched and stomped a young toddler to death in front of horrified motorists who tried to stop the attack on a dark country road, authorities said.

Investigators on Sunday were trying to establish the relationship between the suspect and the child they say he killed Saturday night. The Stanislaus County coroner said the boy appeared to be between 1 and 2 years old based on his size, according to county sheriff's deputy Royjindar Singh.

"It's been a long night of wondering, 'Why?' — not only for the officers and the passers-by who stopped and tried to help out, but for anyone. Why would somebody do this?" Singh said.

Singh said the coroner does not plan to confirm the identities of the suspect and victim until Monday. Because his injuries were so severe, the child will have to be identified through a blood or DNA test, he said.

The suspect had a child's car seat in the back of his four-door pickup truck. The truck caught the attention of an elderly couple at 10:13 p.m. Saturday because it was stopped in the two-lane road facing the wrong direction, Singh said.

As they got closer, the couple saw the man brutally beating the toddler behind his truck and throwing the child on the ground, according to Singh. Two or three other cars stopped, an unusual number to be passing through the remote area surrounded by a dairy, a cow pasture, a cornfield and a farmhouse, he said.

"What we got from witnesses is he was punching, slapping, kicking, stomping, shaking," Singh said. "They tried to intervene and get involved, but their efforts really didn't have an effect. The suspect was engaged in what he was doing. He just pushed them off and went back to it."

A sheriff's helicopter responding to emergency calls from the area landed in a cow pasture at 10:19 p.m. carrying a Modesto police officer who shot the man to death after he refused an order to stop beating the child, Singh said.

Paramedics tried to resuscitate the toddler, who was not breathing when they arrived. The boy was taken to a local hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

No children within the dead boy's age range have been reported kidnapped or missing in Stanislaus County, Singh said.

The incident happened on Bradbury Road about 10 miles west of Turlock, a city located about halfway between Sacramento and Fresno.

There's slightly more information at this second story... (link) I'm going to go kiss my child goodnight and tuck her in. I'm done.

Smiley

This was found on Mars. Yeah, it's a Smiley face. Actually, that's your damned human brain working a human response to comprehend the image. Your stupid brain thinks that this :) is also a smiley face. It's not. It's a colon and an end parenthesis.

The interesting thing about the human face is that it is a template for communication. You don't have to say anything for people to read your face. The same thing goes for a photograph of a face or a drawing representing a face.

So a representation of the human face exists 'in the realm of ideas' regardless of how it's rendered. For instance - the surface of Mars.

It's not goddamned aliens. Get off your chair.

My God, what have we done?


Gays and lesbians who fought for the right to get married have found out that being married sucks.
(Link)

Suckers.

It's just a scam from the wedding industry and the divorce lawyers to nab that last 10%.



Jun 14, 2008

Don't Mess with Texas... or the Army

FORT WORTH -- Two military men and two other bystanders took matters into their own hands on Friday when they took down a bank robber who attempted to carjack two women outside a Wells Fargo bank in far north Fort Worth.

"The police department doesn't condone that level of intervention; however, they certainly deserve a high-five for what they did," said Lt. Paul Henderson, a Fort Worth police spokesman. "No one was injured. There is no telling what would have happened. They potentially saved someone's life."

Police arrested Larry Don Enos, 57, in connection with the robbery that began about 11:30 a.m. at the Wells Fargo Bank.

Henderson said a man disguised in a fake beard, mustache and wig walked into the bank, pointed a revolver at a bank employee and said, "This is a robbery. I want the money from the drive-through and the money from the cash registers.'"

After the robber received the cash, he told the bank employee, "You are going to drive me out of here."

When the teller informed the robber that he couldn't leave, Henderson said, the bandit ordered the teller to give him the keys to his car. Henderson said the teller handed over the keys and the robber walked out of the bank.

Outside, Henderson said, the robber attempted to carjack a woman in the parking lot but, for reasons that are still unclear, was unsuccessful. At that point, Henderson said, the bandit went to a second woman's car in the drive-through ATM and attempted to carjack her.

Henderson said the woman asked the robber if she could get the kids out of the car first.

"He agrees to that and, while he is standing there, two civilians see him with a gun," Henderson said. "They come over and tackle him and take the gun away from him."

The civilians, who Henderson said are believed to be in the Army reserve or retired military, were soon joined by two other people, who helped detain the robber until police arrived.

Jun 13, 2008

Tacos

Teleprompter Dumbass



Dear Channel 5 Crew:
Teleprompter Operator: Space after periods. Gives a chance for your talent to take a breath.

News Reader (who is probably making 10x what the operator makes): Learn to read a Teleprompter!

Breaking News!

Tim Russert : Tits up

Dead

Hillary Clinton seen scratching name off a list

No connection.

R Kelly Pisses Off

CHICAGO - A Chicago jury has acquitted R. Kelly on all counts at his child pornography trial.

The verdict came six years after the R&B superstar was first charged with videotaping himself having sex with a young girl. Prosecutors had said she was as young as 13 at the time.

Kelly had faced a maximum 15 years in prison.

Both Kelly and the now 23-year-old alleged victim had denied they were the ones appearing on the tape, which was played for the jury at the beginning and end of the trial.

The prosecution's star witness was a woman who said she engaged in three-way sex with Kelly and the girl from the video. Defense attorneys argued the man on the tape didn't have a large mole on his back, as Kelly does.


Uh -- Hey, you. Come here. I'd really like to beat the living shiznit out of you for not only bothering Mr. Kelly, but for WASTING SO MUCH COURT TIME in Chicago. You could have spent all that time, energy, and money convicting some Aldermen or politicians... I hope these attorneys are disbarred and have to find new employment in men's restrooms.

McDystopia

(the following is cutn'dapasted from SomethingAwful.com)

McDonald's infamous clown mascot rules over the inhabitants of McDonaldland, a Boschian purgatory for gluttons inhabited by bulbous grotesques obsessed with hamburgers. It's the sort of dream-within-a-dream dystopia McDonald's has been treating kids to since the 70s.

I picked this particular ad (oh yeah, there was a YouTube video of the classic McDonaldland ad that ripped off Marty Kroft's H.N.R. Puffin' Stuff) because it features Ronald and his indistinct catfish-faced gumdrop of a friend, Grimace. Most characters in McDonaldland represent either a menu item or a sin. Birdie is the wailing psychic death of a trillion chickens. The Fry Guys are semi-sentient lumps of carbohydrates and googly eyes living at the junction between deep fried potatoes and the reptile brain. Mayor McCheese clearly represents simony and the Hamburglar is envy.

That leaves Ronald and Grimace. Ronald is the one inhabitant of McDonaldland that most resembles mankind. He's terrifying to behold, sure, but in him we see ourselves reflected and distorted. He is degenerate sexuality, deviant cravings, and an abiding love of McNugget-themed musical theater.

Grimace is the demiurge, the creator. From him all things in McDonaldland have sprung. He is not a sin, he's not a menu item, he's just Grimace. He exists. He rolls his lidless eyes and flaps his lipless mouth, formless and terrible, a protean idiot thing from the depths of pre-history.

A case could be made that Ronald and his rogue's gallery have contributed to the success of McDonald's. A superior case could be made that the surrealist dystopia of McDonaldland is tolerated because you still gonna eat there.

It is my contention that if we let the terrorists win, this is what every day will look and taste like.

Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons

oh oh

Associated Press To Kill Blogs Dead

This is troubling! The Associated Presshas filed 7 Digital Millennium Copyright Act takedown requests against a site calledDrudge Retort (unaffiliated with Matt Drudge). The site is a largely user-generated blog that features headlines, excerpts from news articles, links, and discussion. The AP says this practice is a violation of their intellectual property. Some call it blogging! The AP's lawyer is having none of that:

you purport that the Drudge Retort's users reproduce and display AP headlines and leads under a fair use defense. Please note that contrary to your assertion, AP considers that the Drudge Retort users' use of AP content does not fall within the parameters of fair use. The use is not fair use simply because the work copied happened to be a news article and that the use is of the headline and the first few sentences only. This is a misunderstanding of the doctrine of "fair use." AP considers taking the headline and lede of a story without a proper license to be an infringement of its copyrights, and additionally constitutes "hot news" misappropriation.

Well. Like we said, troubling! And incredibly short-sighted and stupid!

If the AP "wins" (and they probably will), that could shake the internet to its core. Which, uh... mixed blessing? Guess I'll just have to go back to bitching about stuff in my own life - and how damn boring is THAT?

Jun 12, 2008

Jun 11, 2008

The Happening

Reviews are coming in....

M Night Sham-alama-ding-dong is going to be directing soap operas soon...

The Happening : Shocks and Bores

For a movie called the Happening - not much going on.


Lot of suicides... so if you're into that, this is your Summer Event movie...

Hmmm?

According to a CNN report last week, for the entire month of May, there were only 19 troop deaths in Iraq. Last year, five people on average were shot every day in Chicago. With Iraqi deaths at an all-time low, Iraq is safer than Detroit.

Impeachment Update

The House of Representatives votes to send articles of impeachment against President Bush to the Judiciary Committee for review...

....where it'll probably fall down and die a quiet death....

The motion passed 251-166.

“It is imperative that Members of Congress have a thorough opportunity to read the Articles of Impeachment and study the documentation,” Kucinich said in a news release Tuesday. “When they do, I am confident that they will agree that it is both appropriate and necessary for the Judiciary Committee to begin hearings on the Resolution.”



I find it interesting that old rusty news isn't even touching this thing... hardly at all. And Keith Olberman doesn't count as part of the media. Steven Colbert has more viewers than Olberman on any given day... even a re-run.

But the internet is abuzz. Blogs are going nuts, message boards are three times as long...
Made me think of this:


It's the one and only chance that the Democrats have a chance to stop flapping their mouths and finally drop a pair. I'm not holding my breath, Mrs. Pelosi.

You do realize that this is the one and only discussion about the war that is being conducted in this country, right? And this discussion is the only chance to change the status quo.

Cardinals

Seeing Albert Pujols on the ground in pain dampened the St. Louis Cardinals' spirits after their third straight win. The Cardinals watched their leading hitter be helped off the field with what was diagnosed as a strained left calf in the seventh inning of their 7-2 victory Tuesday night over the Cincinnati Reds.

Warning:

Shyamalan calls his "Happening" a fun B movie.

If you needed a road map that says Beware - this is it.

Impeachment

You might not have noticed - as no one in the Media seems to give a rip or take seriously - but a 35 article Impeachment Resolution was read into the Congressional record by Democratic Presidential Candidate Dennis Kucinich (and punchline, punching bag). Question - is anyone going to take this seriously?

Here's an exchange I caught online:
Guidomyte: IMPEACHMENT IS NOT WHAT IS NEEDED RIGHT NOW

Shouldn't congress be preparing to take all three branches of gov't in November's election (office in January) as they keep predicting? Instead of chasing down this wild goose, why don't you start doing something productive to convince me to vote you into power? Impeaching Bush with 7 months left in the presidency would accomplish nada except bolster some pride in some an alienate others, you aren't going to reverse anything within that amount of time, even if you impeach him TOMORROW. This is a prime example of blinded bipartisan hatred, nothing more/less, both parties to blame.

Did Bush do some bad things? Hell yes, obviously. No doubt. Consequence for his actions? Fine, just do it outside of the Presidency, lest you WANT to make the USA look even weaker in the eyes of the world. Impeachment or not, DK just made us look like the biggest group of colossal pussies to the rest of the globe.
mizchief: WTF is this really needed? Dude is going to be gone in a couple of months anyway. Is it really worth how bad this makes the country look? Impeaching two presidents in a row; and you wonder why no one good wants to run for president. Our economy is already going to shiat do we really need to add this to the pile?
FightDirector:Why is this needed? Why is this needed?!

Are you serious?! Are you high? It's needed because we need to make a statement to America, to future presidents, and to the rest of the world that the conduct shown by this administration is NOT OK. We need to own up to and correct as best we can our missteps...and the first step along that trail is to impeach the bastard and hold him PERSONALLY accountable, along with every member of the administration we can get our hands upon before they fly to Argentina with the rest of fascists.

THAT'S why it's fugging needed.
I have to say that I'm happy these things were read into the Congressional record - as a legal note for future Americans (what, for the next Administration??)

I started to read the Impeachment Resolution - I have a link to the PDF of it... click there...

It'll take me a week to get through it. Breakfast nook, toilet time, in traffic, and night-night time -- I think a week is kind of lowballing it too.

Dennis is blaming Bush personally for EVERYTHING that has happened including no body armor and covering up the Pat Tillman friendly fire incident.

-- It's either the ultimate act of futility, or it's a roadmap for Obama to actually pursue a course of change. If it's laughed off - which would be my first assumption of what's going to happen - there will BE NO CHANGE.... 

Wondering what you think of it all. I'm also waiting for Dennis fanboy OneF to chime in... 

Jun 10, 2008

Virus Berserker

VIRAL MARKETING UPDATE
'Office Berserker' Is (unable to fool me!) Not Real
So that "Office Berserker" video we linked to last week—security camera footage purportedly showing a man going crazy at work and destroying his entire office, along with many of his coworkers—has been confirmed as another freaking viral marketing video (as suspected). This time the prankster was a Russian director trying to build buzz for a film called Wanted. Damn you, Timur Bekmambetov! It's getting to where you just can't trust online footage of unprovoked violence any more. If you care to, watch the clip again with a more jaundiced eye, scroll down. Or click here...

The Worst Atari 2600 Games

Since the last article (the BEST Atari 2600 Games) went over SO well - and all the great comments we had... all the screen caps, videos, history and all that... We've decided to have a second, although a little smaller version.

Here are my WORST Atari 2600 Games
  1. ET - This game is blamed for the Game Crash of 1983. The game is you're ET falling in holes. That's the game. The CEO of Warner paid Spielbergo 20 million for the rights to do the game. They stuck the guy who made Yars Revenge - Howard Scott Warshaw - in a closet for 6 weeks in order to get 'something' out before Christmas. You fall in holes. They manufactured more games than they had consoles because they were convinced that they would sell more consoles simply because they had ET... The excess games (3 million) were buried in the desert. No, really.
  2. Pac Man - wasn't Pac Man. Not even close. It made kids cry it was so bad.
  3. Rubix Cube - (Name changed to Magic Squares... or something) Here's the $40 video game of a $5 dollar puzzle. Remember the crash of 1983? Yeah, it was Atari thinking that games like this were good ideas that brought down the tent.
  4. Custer's Revenge - X rated pixels. Poor taste, graphics and Atari's lack of control over who could make games for their VCS contributed to Atari's demise. Nintendo learned from examples like this by having rigidly tight control over their suppliers.
  5. Donkey Kong by Coleco. Where do I begin? All kinds of Suck! 2 levels. Graphics so bad you want to puke. Many think that Coleco made it bad on purpose to sell more Colecovision consoles. Is it a coincidence that Donkey Kong was the pack in game for Colecovision? 
  6. Superman - it's an RPG, I think?
  7. Chase the Chuck Waggon - Wilson Purina - When DOG FOOD companies are making video games, start selling your stock. Hell, sell it to short.
  8. SwordQuest (all of them) - Remember Journey the game? This is like that, but even less fun.
  9. Sssnake - Data Age. All of the graphics consist of blocks. They're equivalent to the old Pong games, except I can tolerate Pong much longer than Sssnake. Your character (a small block) movement is restricted to the center of the playfield (blocks evenly spaced out with a gap in the middle). The score rolls over at a whopping 100 points. The snakes (more blocks connected together) can be easily avoided, and the other monsters (slightly misshapen blocks) are never a threat. Shoot one monster (with fast-moving blocks) and the rest die too. There is one round, one screen, and one life per game.
  10. Skeet Shoot - Apollo. Terrible, just terrible.
  11. Runner Up Sneak 'n Peek - US Games. This is the video game of two kids playing hide and seek. Seriously. You have to have your opponent turn around or hide their eyes while you hide in the game. If I remember there was only a 2 player version... and even if there wasn't, you'd be on your honor to NOT WATCH where the computer hid.... Dude, turn it off and just play the bloody thing for real. 

Jun 7, 2008

Punching Employees in the Face

A production company named Action Figure filmed its employees being punched in the face in slow motion to the rhythm of Robyn’s Be Mine song.

“The disturbing thing is that no one questioned it when all employees were asked to meet in Stage One so that we could punch them in the face,” says Matt Hovis, Director and Principal at Action Figure.




This is the best viral ad I've ever seen.

Just a Story

The following is not a fictional story. It is a true story about the political nightmare that is Zimbabwe's political struggle to be a true Democracy. The names have been changed so that it's 1) more entertaining, 2) so you can follow along. It's interesting especially towards the end where there's a little history of the story that kind of raises an eyebrow. - Cap'n

WASHINGTON DC, (Blasphemes) - America's opposition presidential candidate has been allowed to leave a police station about two hours after he was ordered to drive there.

But Barack Obama was told he could not resume campaigning Friday for the presidential runoff.

Obama had been trying to campaign around Los Angles, America's second largest city. He was stopped at a roadblock and ordered to a police station about 30 miles from LA.

Later, he and reporters with him were allowed to leave the station. They drove back to LA under police escort.

Obama's campaign to unseat George W. Bush has been hobbled by violence and intimidation.

When police stopped America's opposition presidential candidate at a roadblock Friday and ordered him to go to a police station, another setback in a campaign to unseat George W. Bush that has been marred by violence and intimidation.

Reporters with the convoy heard police at the roadblock say Barack Obama's planned rallies were illegal. He was ordered to follow police to Pasadina, a town about 30 miles southeast of Los Angles, America's second-largest city.

Obama's spokesman said the candidate and other top officials entered the police station, as others in the convoy waited outside.

In a statement Friday, Obama's campaign called for his immediate release and said his detention was "yet another shameless and desperate act by the Bush regime" to frustrate the opposition's campaign.

LA Police Chief William J. Bratton said he was not aware of Friday's incident, but said that it is not uncommon for police to stop drivers at roadblocks to ensure they are not transporting weapons.

"Obama and his convoy are not immune to search," he said. "They can be searched at any roadblock they pass."

He also said candidates had been informed they needed to inform police before holding a political rally.

On Wednesday, Obama said he was detained for nine hours at another police station near Los Angles. Bratton denied police were interfering with the opposition campaign.

Obama beat Bush in the March 29 first round, but did not garner the 50 percent plus one vote necessary to avoid a runoff, which is scheduled for June 27.

Opposition and human rights groups accuse Bush of orchestrating violence to ensure he wins re-election amid growing unpopularity for his heavy-handed rule and the country's economic collapse.

On Thursday, a mob of America "war veterans," a group of often violent Bush loyalists, waylaid a convoy of Canadian and British diplomats investigating political violence, beating a local staffer, slashing tires and threatening to burn the envoys, the Canadian Embassy said.

Bush frequently accuses Britain and Canada of plotting to topple him and return America to colonial rule.

Also Thursday, aid groups in America were sent a memorandum from social welfare minister Nicholas Goche ordering an indefinite suspension of field work.

Millions of Americans depend on international groups for food and other aid as the economy crumbles.

James Elder, a spokesman for the UN children's agency, said the suspension was "completely unacceptable and hugely concerning. Hundreds of thousands of children are in need of immediate assistance.

"With the onset of the winter in America, the timing is critical for children who are among the most vulnerable and most in need of support," Elder said.

Goche's memorandum to the United Nations and other aid groups made no mention of government claims that aid was distributed to favored recipients or opposition supporters, or that civic and human rights groups registered as voluntary organizations were campaigning against Bush's party.

Earlier this week, the aid organization CARE International said it had been ordered to halt operations pending an investigation of allegations it was campaigning for the opposition. CARE denies the allegation.

Bush has led America since independence from Britain in 1980 and was once hailed as a liberator who promoted racial reconciliation and economic empowerment.

But he has been accused of clinging to power through election fraud and intimidation, and of destroying his country's economy through the seizure of white-owned farms beginning in 2000.

Discontent over the economy propelled Obama to the top in presidential voting March 29.

Obama, who lost a 2002 presidential election that independent observers said was rigged in Bush's favor, had only returned to America in late May to campaign for the runoff. He left the country soon after the March first round, and his party has said he was the target of a military assassination plot.

He has survived at least three assassination attempts. In 1997, unidentified assailants tried to throw him from a 10th-floor window.

Last year, he was hospitalized after a brutal assault by police at a prayer rally. Images seen around the world of his bruised and swollen face have come to symbolize the plight of dissenters in America.

Obama's Movement for Democratic Change says at least 60 of its supporters have been slain in the past two months.