- You're going to get a lot of advice on how to raise your child. Solicited or not. My response to this advice has been, "Sure, we'll be sure to [insert useless advice that was not asked for here] as long as you'll be paying for this kid's diapers/college/therapy...
- Cash that check first, and then implement said advice.
- I heard this one a lot, "It gets better." They're lying. Don't believe them.
- It does NOT get better - it CHANGES.
- You cannot base tomorrow on what happened today - if this doesn't make sense, it will.
- Avoid using your child's Social Security number for the first six months. Wrecking her credit score should wait until the kid can at least sit up on her own.
- I would recommend you see my previous thoughts on appropriate baby music - and in doing so please remember how excited you were to chastise those thoughts 18 months ago. If it works out for you, I would like an apology. Note: I used the word "appropriate" a moment ago, because I imagine that the baby has already been rocked to sleep with Tom Waits or Leonard Cohen - simply because these are the most 'soothing' artists in your collection.
- Good luck, Daddy. It's not about you anymore.
- Please refer to point one. No, there will not be a check.
- Give my love to the ladies.