May 12, 2006

Surfing the muck

I used to assume that everyone and their son-in-law just randomly surfed through the sewage of the internet. Apparently not. Seems some people like to spend time with their families, playing softball, and doing assorted productive things. As a public service to y'all, and because I am easily bored, I have done some of the work for you. With snarky comments, no less.

  • Greatest thing I have ever read in regards to this administration, the war, and the general state of the media. This perfectly sums up my feelings on the state of our union over the past 4-5 years. I will leave the snarkiness to Mr. Pitt.
  • Today, in 1964, Barbra Streisand wins a Grammy. For all of you clowns that think that we are awarding worse and worse music at the Grammys: nope. They have ALWAYS sucked. They have always been unoriginal. Shit, the name of her album is The Barbara Streisand Album. Now I am forced to listen to this crap at every party hosted by a gay man ever. They just can't quit her. Check out all the crappy winners here.
  • Keef falls out of a coconut tree and needs brain surgery. During his dismissal from the hospital the apologizes for "being a pain in the arse." The dangers of putting the lime in the coconut and drinking all up.
  • A whole new take on the old "the dog ate my homework." This is a "my catfish burned down my house and killed my wife and kids" excuse. Very handy in a court of law.
  • First Bush is cracking the dreaded 20's in popularity and then the country gives up on Mr. Cruise. Welcome to my world, countrymen, the weather is great.
  • I have a confession. I Tae-Bo. You wouldn't know it by my belly but I do. The covers always claim that Billy was once a fighter. Well, I guess not a very good one. Here he is getting his ass kicked in about two seconds.
  • Rules for being on a gameshow.
  • EARMUFFS! . . . .FUCK INSURANCE COMPANIES!!!!! Now it seems that in Portland, Oregon the following items are banned from the playground: running, tag, swing sets, merry go rounds, tube slides, track rides, arch climbers, and teeter totters. I remember looking forward to recess.

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